


Into Darkness

by caoilo



Category: Doctor Who, Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 17:22:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3537770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caoilo/pseuds/caoilo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Nothinig to do with Star Trek) Dean and Sam have started the apocalypse but not only do they have Satan to contend with but it seems Dean can't get a moment alone with his boyfriend (Capt Jack Harkness) Without one of Jack's ex's playing the third wheel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Bat Signal

The Impala is speeding down a small dusty road somewhere in the U.S, the driver is a thirty something man with short caramel coloured hair and wearing a beat up brown leather jacket. The passenger is also a man only he has short black hair and is wearing a dusky blue WWII R.A.F trench coat, which has brass buttons and embroidered insignia.  
Both men are talking while Sounds of Silence is playing on the radio.  
“If Cas can’t find-” Jack Harkness was saying.  
“We have two minutes to ourselves and you want to talk about him.” Dean Winchester said in a harsh tone.  
“Look I’m just saying Cas is good and all but-”  
“I swear, keep talking about your ex and I’ll pull this car over.” Dean said angrily.  
Jack placed his hand on the inside of Dean’s thigh.  
“Promise?” Jack whispered into Dean’s ear.  
Then Jack kissed Dean’s neck.  
“Jack we are on a job.” Dean tried to say in an authoritarian tone but it wavered.  
“I’m driving here!” Dean added when Jack moved his hand onto Dean’s manhood.  
“So pull over!” Jack said while he continued to kiss Dean’s neck.  
Jack knew this drove Dean wild and just as Jack knew he would Dean pulled over.  
Jack opened his seat belt and kissed Dean on the mouth.  
Just then there was a flapping noise.  
“Oh come on.” Sam yelled from the back seat.  
Dean turned around and there in the back seat were Sam, Cas and a slender short man who was bound and gagged and blind folded.  
“What is this? A my boyfriend’s ex’s convention?” Dean asked angrily.  
“Dude I just saw my brother do that!” Sam said rubbing his eyes.  
“Someone needs to teach Cas how to knock.” Dean said as Jack sat back in his seat.  
“Why are we not moving?” Cas asked looking out the window over Sam’s shoulder, and seeing that the night sky stood still.  
Sam gave Cas a meaningful look.  
“Oh that.” Cas said looking a little embarrassed.  
The bound man nudged Cas’s leg.  
Cas leant over and removed the duct tape off his mouth.  
“What’s going on I miss everything.” The floppy haired man said with an English accent.  
“Jack was touching Dean’s-” Cas began.  
“Dude I just saw that. It’s going to take two bottles of whisky to get that out of my head and you think I want to hear it described.” Sam said covering his ears.  
“Oh I see.” The Doctor said his voice sounding gleeful.  
“Believe me you don’t want to.” Sam said his face still twisted with disgust.  
“All right!” Dean shouted as he started the car.  
“Let’s get this damn thing over with.” Dean put his foot down.  
“Where exactly are we going?” The eleventh Doctor asked now there was no tape on his mouth.  
“You’ll see.” Dean said turning up the music.  
A few hours later they arrived at a cheap motel.  
The room smelt funny and had only had two king sized beds. The wall paper was coming away from the walls in the corners of the room.  
All five enter the room.  
“Ok.” Dean started.  
“Cas go up stars and ruffle a few feathers, see if anything falls out.”  
“What would fall out of wings?” Cas asked confused.  
Dean gave him a “Come on” look.  
“I see it’s an expression.” Cas realised then disappeared.  
“Jack go to the bar across the street and see if the locals have noticed any omens and stuff.” Dean said.  
“Aye, aye.” Jack said saluting and as he passed Dean to leave the room Jack leant in.  
“I love it when you take control like that.” He gave Dean his smouldering smile, Jack took another step and then slapped Dean’s arse.  
Sam exhaled exasperatedly.  
Dean’s face went red.  
“Did you bring me here for that!” The Doctor said indicating the situation that just passed, now that he could see after Sam took his blind fold off.  
“For what?” Sam asked missing The Doctor’s meaning.  
“A good time.” The Doctor said smiling, his hair falling into his face.  
“No!” Sam almost screamed.  
The Doctor winked.  
Sam took a step away from the Doctor when he moved against the bonds too suggestively.  
The scene made Dean chuckle with laughter.  
“Shut up Dean!” Sam shouted.  
“What?!” Dean asked as he shrugged and smiled.  
“So if I’m not here for that, not that I’m complaining but why am I here?” Eleven asked.  
Sam and Dean walked forward.  
“Jack told us what you have.” Sam said leaning towards eleven with his hand on the arm of the chair that The Doctor was tied to.  
“I swear whatever Jack said, I didn’t give it to him. I mean he’s practically slept with every species there is.” The Doctor said looking from Sam to Dean.  
“Gross!” Sam said standing up and rubbing his hands in his jeans.  
“Cut the crap.” Dean shouted.  
“Where’s the T.A.R.D.I.S?” Dean asked.  
“Oh so Jack did tell you everything.” Eleven said with narrowed eye’s.  
“Isn’t that what people in a relationship do?” Dean asked sarcastically.  
Eleven smiled.  
“So what is it you want?” The Doctor asked.  
“We need the T.A.R.D.I.S to stop the apocalypse.” Sam answered.  
“This would be the apocalypse you two started.” Eleven said smugly.  
Dean’s hands curled into fists.  
“You really are how he described you.” The Doctor said looking Dean up and down.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean demanded.  
“It means all that all that testosterone is such a turn on. I thought Jack was full of it, umph.” Eleven said shaking his head.  
“It means if he didn’t call dib’s.” Eleven added looking at Dean out from under his fringe.  
“You think you can say anything to split us up?” Dean asked.  
“No, but if you let me out of this chair I could show you something that might.” The Doctor said with a smirk.  
Dean rushed forward with his fist raised.  
“Dude, we are here for the T.A.R.D.I.S.” Sam said grabbing Dean’s arm.  
After a few second’s Dean’s arm went slack and Sam let him go.  
“I’ll help, but only if in future you ring me and don’t set your owl on me.” The Doctor requested.  
“Fine!” Dean agreed as Sam untied The Doctor.  
“Ok.” Said The Doctor standing up and spinning on his heal.  
“I’ll need one extra tall American.” He said pointing at Sam.  
“Some petrol, that’s gasoline to you.” The Doctor said pointing at both Sam and Dean.  
“And Key’s” The Doctor finished speaking with his palm out.  
“No way, you are not getting baby.” Dean said with one hand on his coat pocket and the other one outstretched towards The Doctor as if to stop him.  
“I can be gentle, ask Jack.” The Doctor said.  
Dean gave an angry look.  
“Hey I didn’t ask to be Time Lord knapped by Nicolas Cage and Ted Cassidy.”  
Sam frowned at the Doctor’s words.  
“Besides I’m going to let you guy’s use sexy.” The Doctor pointed out.  
“Sexy!” Dean chuckled.  
“Why not? You call your car baby. At least mine travels through time and space.”  
Dean’s smile faded.  
“Look Dean, I’m driving can we just get this done?” Sam asked with his hand out.  
“Fine, but if there is one scratch!” Dean warned.  
“Yeah I know.” Sam said rolling his eyes.  
“Good luck with Romeo there.” Dean jeered with a sneering smile, as he indicated the Doctor.  
“Hey, I know I’m not your type.” The Doctor said rolling back and forth from heal to toe and back again.  
“I’m missing all the right parts.” The Doctor put a hand pointing at each side of his body and indicated from chest to feet. Then he clasped his hands together and said “Most importantly missing no demon blood.”  
Dean snorted a laugh.  
“That’s not funny Dean.” Sam growled.  
“Hmm.” Dean said moving his head from side to side in a yes-it-kind-of-is way.  
“Let’ go.” Sam growled at The Doctor as Sam walked out the door.  
“Oh Doc…your bowtie.” Dean said taking Eleven’s bow tie out of his pocket.  
“What? Bowties are cool.” The Doctor said stepping forward and taking it.  
As the Doctor walked out the door and tying his bowtie Jack walked in. The Doctor winked at Jack who did nothing in response.  
Jack stumbled a bit as he closed the door.  
“You’re drunk.” Dean said walking over to the locker and picking up his Taurus Model 92 9mm, he striped it down.  
“Shhhh my wife might hear you. Jack joked putting his finger to his lips.  
“You know that joke doesn’t get any funnier the more you tell it.” Dean said putting down pieces of the gun and starting to clean the gun.  
“Come on.” Jack said taking off his coat.  
“How did you get this drunk? You were only gone five minutes!” Dean asked without looking at Jack.  
“There were these twins.” Jack giggled.  
“Of course there were.” Dean said with a hint of anger.  
“Did you remember to ask about omens?” Dean asked cleaning the barrel of the gun.  
“Yes and yes.” Jack said taking his braces down.  
“Wow I’m so overwhelmed with the information.” Dean said sarcastically as he looked up from his gun.  
Jack grabbed the barrel of the gun and put it on the locker where the rest of the parts lay.  
“They said there had been strong winds.” Jack said breathing lightly on dean’s neck.  
“”Hard rains.” Jack said licking Dean’s carotid artery.  
“And cattle mutilations.” Jack said grabbing Dean by the manhood, tightly.  
Dean grabbed Jack’s hand and got him to let go.  
“You stink of booze.” Dean said facing away from Jack.  
“I taste like it too.” Jack said leaning in.  
Dean allowed their lips to touch then their tongues.  
When Dean pulled away he ran his tongue over his lips and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth.  
Jack pushed Dean on to the bed.  
Jack took his own shirt and vest off, he leant down and unzipped Dean’s jeans.  
Jack stood up again.  
“What it’s laundry day.” Dean said defensively.  
Dean’s underpants showed the bat signal, it was definitely beaming.  
Jack pulled them down, in fact Jack removed every piece of Dean’s clothing and Dean removed what was left of Jack’s.  
Dean and Jack were so connected mind, body and soul that they didn’t hear the flapping that usually announced Cas’s arrival.  
Cas was standing at the edge of the bed behind Dean.  
Dean turned and saw Cas.  
“Cas get out of my-”  
“I wasn’t in your-” Cas began to say.  
“Well I can’t say the same.” Jack said lying down on his back, still naked and still aroused.  
Dean sat up and covered his own waist. He signalled Jack to do the same.  
Jack laughed.  
“He’s seen it all before.”  
“So!” Dean shouted.  
“This is awkward.” Cas said in his gravelly voice.  
“It doesn’t have to be.” Jack said smiling.  
Dean gave Jack an affronted look.  
“Look can we have a minuet to get dressed?” Dean asked Cas.  
“I’ll wait in here.” Cas said stepping into the small bathroom.  
Jack moved forward and kissed Dean’s neck.  
“Jack, Cas is like four feet away.” Dean said.  
Jack ran his hand down Dean’s sweat bathed chest, Jacks hand slips under Deans sheet.  
All thoughts of Cas fly out of Dean’s head.  
Then the door bangs open.  
“Seriously!” Dean roars.  
Dean and Jack turn to see a red faced Sam and an elated Doctor.  
“I’m just…” Sam mumbled pointing to his right. He stepped to the right out of the door frame.  
“Is this a privet party or can anyone join it? I always say you should bring a banana to a party.” The Doctor said rubbing his hands together.  
“We’ve got two of our own thanks.” Dean said before Jack could say anything.  
“I’m going for a coke.” Sam shouted and his large heavy footsteps faded.  
“Can you shut the door.” Dean snapped at the Doctor.  
The Doctor walked into the room and shut the door.  
“I was hoping you would be on the other side.” Dean said sounding annoyed.  
The Doctor smiled and Jack laughed.  
There was a popping sound and Crowley was standing at the wall across from the bed.  
“Is this a bad time?” Crowley asked smoking a cigar.  
“Sure why not?!” Dean said flinging his arms out in an of-course-you-are-here way.  
“I popped in to see how you were getting on with the apocalypse thing, but I can see you have bigger …issues on your hands.” When Crowley was finished speaking he returned the cigar to his mouth.  
Jack winked at Crowley.  
“Dude I’m right here.” Dean reminded Jack.  
“I’m surprised flyboy isn’t here.” Crowley commented.  
“I’m in here.” Cas answered.  
Dean hit his hand off his forehead.  
“In there the whole time, were we?” Crowley asked Cas after Crowley clicked his fingers and the bathroom door opened.  
“No.” Cas answered “only some of the time.” As walked into the room.  
Crowley laughed “Not exactly what I’d call a closet.”  
Crowley clicks his fingers and disappears.  
“Ok.” Dean says but before he can add anything Crowley reapers, with Sam.  
“What the?” Sam says facing the wrong way. He turns around and sees Dean and Jack “Oh come on seriously Crowley?” Sam says turning back around to face the wall.  
“What I thought you were missing the show.” He says laughing.  
Just then the door opens again.  
“Doctor?!” Came this sweet voice.  
“Oh I’m sorry.” Clara said when she looked into the room and went to leave but the Doctor grabbed her.  
“This.” He said pulling her into the room and closing the door.  
“Is my ex Jack.” The Doctor indicated to him by pointing.  
Clara gave an embarrassed wave and turned redder when Jack winked.  
“His current boyfriend, Dean.” Everyone heard the emphases that The Doctor put on the word current.  
“Cas he’s an angel, also one of Jack’s ex’s.” The Doctor said.  
“Really an angel?” Clara gasped.  
“Yeah they’re not all that.” The Doctor continued the introductions.  
“That’s Crowley a demon and nobody’s anything.”  
“Oi” Crowley said in his booming voice.  
“Sold his soul for a few extra inches.” The doctor added leaning into Clara to whisper.  
The Doctor sees her confused look so he winks and can tell Clara understands now.  
“Oh.” She said blushing.  
“And you have already met Sam, Dean’s brother.”  
Sam waved without turning around.  
“Oh wow that’s awkward.” She said.  
“Tell me about it.” Sam remarked.  
“Everyone this is Clara.” The Doctor announced.  
Everyone said an awkward hello except for Crowley who said “Bonjour ma chère.”  
“Look as nice as this is can you all leave?!” Dean said losing his patients.  
“Yes!” Sam said turning towards the door.  
“Cas go with Sam, wait in the car.” Dean said and Cas zapped Sam and himself to the car.  
“Crowley can you go back to hell.” Dean was telling him more than asking.  
“The hell.” Clara said.  
“Love it’s not a secret sex dungeon I’m a Crowley not a Grey.” Crowley answered her.  
“Crowley!” Dean yelled.  
“Pity.” Crowley said biting his lip as he looked as Dean and Jack.  
“Toddles.” Crowley said and clicked his fingers.  
“Doctor can you-?” as Dean began to speak Jack stood up completely naked.  
Clara turned sidewise and put her hand up to her face so she couldn’t see Jack.  
“Wait in the T.A.R.D.I.S?! Sure we will. Come on Doctor.” Clara said pulling him outside.  
I wasn’t finished.” The Doctor said but Clara pulled him out and shutting the door.  
Dean started to get dressed.  
“Dean we’re not done.” Jack said getting back onto the bed.  
“I am.” Dean said standing up after tying the laces in his boots. His chest still bare as he went to walk to the bathroom.  
“Well I’m not.” Jack was kneeling on the bed his enthusiasm still showing.  
“Here!” Dean said bending over into his rucksack and taking out a copy of Busty Asian Babes.  
“Have at it.” Dean said throwing the skin mag at Jack.  
“This is for you.” Jack said indicating his groin.  
“Really because a minuet ago it looked like it was for anyone.” Dean said standing where Crowley had.  
“Dean I flirt, so what, you knew that about me.” Jack said.  
“Yeah but this is different.”  
“I’m your’s and only your’s. So what if I bat my eyelids at other people. That’s nothing. What I feel here is for you.” Jack said walking over to Dean and putting Deans hand over his heart.  
“And here.” Jack said slowly moving Dean’s hand downwards until Jack had to close his eyes.  
Jack leant forward and held the back of Deans head to hold his mouth closer to his.  
To be continued ……


	2. It's Smaller on the Outside

Moments later Dean and Jack walked across the motel car park to the Impala.  
Sam tried not to focus on his brothers hand interlocked with Jacks.  
Sam didn’t have a problem with Dean and Jacks relationship in fact one of the many moments that Sam felt proud of Dean was when Dean told Sam the truth, yes he had been having casual sex but the truth was he was having sex with men. No, the truth was Sam felt awkward mostly because he had never had to travel around with he’s brothers other half. Perhaps though that wouldn’t have felt so difficult if Jack didn’t hit on Sam. Yes Sam knew it was most likely a joke to Jack but sometimes it bothered Sam.   
The first time they arrived at a new motel all together Sam booked one room and after returning from the library and getting the shock of his life he decided to book two rooms from then on. Their last motel being an exception, after all they weren’t planning on staying there just using it as HQ or at least that’s what he thought apparently Dean and Jack had other ideas.  
Jack’s coat flapped in the wind as they walked to the car, it made a whipping noise.  
Dean noticed that Sam looked away as they approached and Cas looked at him with mournful eyes.  
Dean wandered for a moment if maybe Sam and Cas had an argument.  
“Are you guy’s ready?” Dean asked looking at Sam who sat in the driver’s seat and Cas who sat in the passenger seat.  
Sam opened the driver’s door and opened the boot of the car and took out a large kaki coloured bag, which was full of guns, knives, holy water, iron, silver and salt.   
Cas had zapped himself over to the T.A.R.D.I.S his backwards blue tie and cream trench coat flapping in the wind.  
Sam shut the boot and he, Dean and Jack walked over to the blue box. Sam allowed the other two, still holding hands, to lead the way.  
Dean would never tell anyone, not even if he was tortured, but one of the very few things that makes Dean happy, happy isn’t the word Contented. One of the few things in his life that made him contented was being able to look down and see Jacks fingers intertwined with his, the flirty Dean could leave, if that changed tomorrow fine but Dean would fight for this feeling until he died or you know went back to hell which ever came first.  
Dean would never broach the subject with Sam, even as he let his little brother walk into the T.A.R.D.I.S between him and Jack, Dean felt that Sam had never really accepted that he was gay. Dean had known how much Sam loved Jessica and Dean regretted that she died and felt that Sam might not fall in love the same way again, but Dean felt he could never express to Sam how he felt about Jack or maybe any man. Then again Dean knew that even if Sam wasn’t so hostile he, Dean wasn’t likely to tell him how he felt about Jack after all it wasn’t really like Dean to share his feelings.  
Dean watched as his younger brother walked through the blue doors.  
“Holy cow!” Sam said seeing the size of the room.  
Dean smiled and forgot what worried him and walked forward to re-join the others.  
“You would think you’ve never seen a room before.” Dean said teasingly.  
“But come on the outside is smaller.” Sam said aghast.  
Clara was standing on the far side of the room talking to Cas, apparently trying to explain what the T.A.R.D.I.S is.  
“He really would fallow you anywhere wouldn’t he?” The Doctor said to Dean as he passed him and walked around the consol.  
“Listen if Jack-” Dean began to say looking over at Jack who was talking to Sam.  
“I’m talking about Cas.” The Doctor said looking at Dean out of the corner of his eye.  
“Cas?” Dean repeated shocked.  
“Yes I mean he has done so much for you.”  
“For me?”   
“Yes, everything he has done has been for you. He doesn’t need to be here, the apocalypse wasn’t his fault.” The Doctor said his tone led Dean to believe that The Doctor knew more than he was saying.  
“It’s not your’s either.” Dean pointed out.  
“No, but Cas would never stop hunting me if he knew it was what you wanted. Sweet really.” The Doctor said smiling.  
Dean didn’t say anything and Jack came to stand with them.  
“Sam says he remembers where it is.” Jack told Dean and the Doctor.  
“Good that makes this a bit easier.” Dean said.  
“So any destination in mind or is this a random couples destination?”   
“April 1, 2010” Sam answered walking over to the group with his hands in his pockets.  
“Are you trying to get someone back for a particularly bad April fools?” The Doctor asked smiling.  
“No!” Sam said defensively.  
“It’s the day Dean throws his amulet in the bin.” Sam mumbled and without looking at Dean.  
If Sam had looked at Dean he would have seen the shock on Dean’s face. Dean had never realised how much the amulet had meant to Sam or how much it hurt Sam to watch Dean throw it in the bin.  
The Doctor smiled like he knew everything everyone was thinking, he dose that sometimes, a lot actually.  
Clara came over to The Doctor.   
“Do you ever get bored of people saying ”It’s bigger on the inside”?” She asked The Doctor.  
“Never, well once but I wasn’t me I was another me, before this me. But me no I love it.” The doctor said with his beaming smile.  
“I love it too.” Clara said with a giggle.  
“What an odd way to fly.” Cas’s commented in is gravely voice as he stood beside Clara.  
“Says the man that zaps everywhere.” Clara said in a teasing tone.  
“That’s different the lord-” Cas began.  
“Almighty.” Jack said exasperated.  
“Yes that’s him.” Cas nodded.  
Dean rolled his eyes and Jack shook his head.  
“Come with me, I want to show you something.” Jack said grabbing Dean’s hand.  
“Ah I thought you were going to say “Come with me if you want to live.” Dean mocked.  
“Living wasn’t what I had in mind.” Jack said as they both passed Sam who made a “Come on!” face.  
“Don’t go christening all the rooms.” The Doctor said putting his circular glasses on.  
“Can’t promise anything.” Jack shouted as he pulled Dean down the hall.  
Sam made a “gross” face.  
At the console The Doctor pulled and pushed things as Sam asked what the future was like and as Clara tried to explain to Cas why plains don’t fall out of the sky .  
Jack walked with a knowing stride. He lead Dean down a long hall that had lots of different types of doors and arch ways and halls here and there so dark it was imposable to see the end.  
Dean had gotten used to Jacks stride as they walked down the hall but suddenly Jack veered to a door on the left Dean had expected to keep walking and so almost stumbled but got his footing.  
Dean was blinded by silver light.  
“Isn’t it beautiful?” Jack asked in aw.  
“Yeah.” Dean answered a little stunned but before he could distinguish the source that made the wall of light, Jack pushed him up against the door and kissed him.  
Dean pulled off Jacks R.A.F coat and throw it on the floor then he took Jacks braces down one at a time, he unbuttoned Jacks shirt and lifted off his vest.   
“My turn.” Jack said pushing Dean’s leather jacket off his shoulders, quickly followed by his tartan shirt and then his black t-shirt.   
Jack quickly rid himself of his brown Caterpillar Luke boots and Dean took his own boots off.  
Jack opened Dean’s jeans and knelt down in front of Dean’s batman signal. Jack took Dean into his mouth.  
Dean tilted his head back and ran his hands through Jacks hair.  
Awhile later both Jack and Dean lay naked on Jack’s coat.  
Jack played with Dean’s hair and Dean lay on his chest.  
“It’s a shelf!” Dean said sitting up.  
Jack smiled he wandered when Dean would notice, he had hoped it wouldn’t be while they were in the throws.  
“What the heck are they?” Dean asked squinting a little.  
He could see that there in front of them stood line upon line of what seemed to be book shelves and in them not books but storage boxes. These were not made of card board or metal, they seemed instead to be made of crystal and shine brightly.   
“What are they?” Dean asked in a whisper.  
“They are the T.A.R.D.I.S’s files.” When Jack answered Dean gave him a confused look.  
“Every person who has ever been in the T.A.R.D.I.S has one.” Jack shrugged.  
“And what does it say about them?” Dean asked looking at the shelves with wonder and fright.  
“Just things about you that the T.A.R.D.I.S knows for instance when and where you were born, your name, who your parents were.” Jack again shrugged.  
“And what about the future?”  
“What do you mean?” Jack asked.  
“Does she know that too?” Dean asked looking at Jack as he felt a little panic welling up or maybe it was excitement.  
“I guess being that she’ a time machine.” Jacks face was full of confusion.  
“So she would know how people are going to die?” Dean asked standing up.  
“Don’t Dean.” Jack called.  
Dean stood there with only his anti-possession tattoo.  
“How much does she know?” Dean asked  
“I’m not sure.” Jack answered honestly.  
“I mean does she know what you’re thinking?” Dean asked sounding a little fraught.  
“I don’t think so just actions.” Jack answered standing close to Dean.  
Dean could see that names in elegant, black, thin calligraphy writing.   
The one he looked at said Donna.  
It was then that Dean noticed none of the boxes had lids, they were solid and didn’t appear to open.  
“So I’m here somewhere?” Dean asked turning to Jack.  
Jack pointed at three of the brightest boxes which were in the bottom right hand corner of the book case Dean was standing at.  
“Ok so this chick knows everything I’ve ever done or is likely to ever do?” Dean asked.  
“Yap.” Jack answered.  
“Great it’s just like Chuck.” Dean muttered.  
Jack laughed.  
“Are you worried about her knowing what you look like?” Jack asked indicating to Dean’s nakedness.  
Apparently Dean hadn’t thought of it and tried to cover himself.  
Jack laughed harder.  
“You had sex in her memory bank I’m pretty sure she’s not going to forget that. Hey maybe now it’ll be her wank bank.” Jack said with a wink.  
Dean was not impressed and glared at Jack.  
“Come on she’s a cool chick she won’t have minded.” Jack told him.  
Dean gave Jack a disbelieving look.  
“Come on you’re telling me you didn’t notice a change in the hum in here?” Jack asked.  
Dean shrugged.  
“You and the Doctor spend much time in here?” Dean asked sitting down.  
“No.” Jack said honestly as he stood in front of Dean teasingly.  
Dean didn’t believe Jack but didn’t want to start another argument.   
There was a flutter and Cas was standing beside Jack.  
“Cas!” Dean practically screamed as he covered his manhood and dashed behind the nearest book case.  
“Apologies.” Cas said turning his back.  
Jack put his underpants on so that he and Dean didn’t get into another fight.  
“The Doctor asked me to find you. We are nearing our destination.” Cas said and with another flutter diapered.  
Dean came out from behind the book case.  
“We need to buy him a bell.” Dean said.  
“Will that help with his lack of wings?” Jack joked.  
Dean gave Jack a warning look.  
“What? Come on the poor guy was blushing.” Jack said feeling bad.  
“He was not blushing!” Dean told him, though Dean couldn’t have known if Cas did or not.  
“His little angelic face was blushing.” Jack was right Cas had in fact blushed.  
When they were dressed and about to leave Dean realised something.  
“Hey if I have one of these boxes so do you.” Dean said with a wide smile and before Jack could stop him Dean vanished into the maze of book cases.  
“Dean!” Jack shouted.  
“I want to see how bright you are.” Dean shouted back while he laughed.  
Dean stopped this box was different, it wasn’t bright like he’s it was murky almost a charcoal colour.  
Jack caught up with him.  
“Wow I’ve been to hell and my box isn’t that dark.” Dean said looking terrified, not for himself or his safety nothing Jack would ever do could scare Dean, no Dean was scared for Jack.  
“Come on lets go The Doc-” Jack began.  
“Fuck the Doctor!” Dean shouted.  
“Be there done that have the T-shirt.” Jack said his smile not totally convincing Dean.  
“What is wrong with it, with you?” Dean asked his voice brimming with concern.  
“I’ve died.” Jack said shrugging.  
“So have I!” Dean replied.  
“How many times?” Jack asked.  
“Not including spells potions or comas?! Once, when I went to hell.” Dean answered.  
“Aw how cute.” Jack said with a giggle.  
“Ok big shot how many times have you died?” Dean asked defensively.  
“I’ve lost count, hundreds definitely who knows it could be thousands.” Jack said shrugging.  
“Thousands?!” Dean asked shocked.  
“Could be.” Again Jack shrugged.   
“How have you died?”  
“Well I’ve been shot more times than I can count, stabbed, exsanguinated, tortured (here Dean flinched) a few times one or two intimate moments got out of hand and perhaps asphyxiation is on the list.” Jack gave Dean his wonky smile that he always gave when implying something, usual sex related.  
Now that Dean looked around here and there, there were boxes that had turned completely black only the name shone bright.   
“Those one’s are of people who have died and can never come back. They have no more future and only exist in the past. They can’t be alive not even in alternate universes.” Jack said with a mournful tone.  
This box said Sarah Jane Smith.  
“Come on. Or the Doctor will send Cas again.” Jack said when Dean made no movement to show that he had been listening.


	3. TARDIS Turbulence

Dean and Jack joined the others back at the controls Clara had resumed her explanation of flight to Cas. Suddenly Dean felt queasy.

"Can you stop talking?!" Dean said sitting down on the chair.

"Flying isn't his thing." Sam whispered to Clara who had looked taken aback.

"Not a problem with flying it's the other thing." Dean said sounding as though he might be sick.

"Crashing?!" Cas asked innocently.

"Dude really?!" Dean shouted as if to block out the words.

"Sexy has never let me down." The Doctor said stroking the consoles edging.

"Although there was that time the Titanic hit us." Everyone looked at the Doctor.

"Well not the Titanic." He began to explain.

"Can everyone stop talking about crashing?!" Dean roared looking green.

The T.A.R.D.I.S suddenly jutted from side to side.

Dean grabbed hold of his seat and held his breath, everyone else stumbled.

"What's it doing?" Clara asked.

"I don't know." The Doctor said running around the console

The T.A.R.D.I.S started to make a screeching noise and shook again.

"Please make it stop." Dean begged.

"I'm trying!" The Doctor said as he pulled a leaver.

Suddenly the T.A.R.D.I.S turned on its side the Doctor grabbed hold of his scanner, Dean held on to the chair Sam grabbed hold of a railing and Jack was holding a piece of the console. The Doctor didn't see Clara fall. She zoomed past Jack who let go of the console and pushed Clara towards Sam's out stretched hand.

"Jack!" Dean shouted as Jack fell passed him.

Jack smiled he didn't panic, as he knew he would, he hit one of the sharped edged pillars that supported the structure.

Jacks head hit the pillar, there was a load crack and Dean looked away. He knew Jack and broken his neck and now lay slumped on the wall.

The T.A.R.D.I.S made a metal grinding noise.

"Sh." The Doctor said stroking the console.

The T.A.R.D.I.S straightened up again and Jacks body slid to the floor.

The T.A.R.D.I.S came to a stop.

Dean ran over to Jack while Sam made sure Clara was ok.

"Everyone all right?" The Doctor asked merrily.

"No!" Dean shouted as he reached Jack.

This was the first time Dean had seen Jack die and he was not cherishing it.

"Oh he'll be ok in a minute." The Doctor said without any concern.

"Where's Cas" Sam asked looking around.

Dean had also just noticed that their guardian angel was missing.

There was a knock on the T.A.R.D.I.S door, The Doctor walked over and opened the door.

Cas fell in through the open door he landed on the ground with a thud, Clara ran over to check on him.

"Cas?!" She said rolling him on to his back.

"These things really don't fly very well." Cas said coughing blood.

"You stopped the T.A.R.D.I.S?" The Doctor asked walking over.

"She was quite sick, she kept saying please help me." Cas told them.

"You can talk to the T.A.R.D.I.S ?" The Doctor sounded baffled.

Dean had been concerned enough about Cas to turn around and watch as he spoke.

"Are we in the right place Cas?" Sam asked bending down.

Cas nodded.

Sam looked out the open door and walked back.

"I think he's right. Come on Cas." Sam said trying to help Cas up.

"Leave me here." Cas mumbled.

"He's right we won't be long." The Doctor said putting his coat on.

Sam gave Dean a questioning look.

"I'll look after them both." Dean said.

"You sure?" Sam asked helping Cas lean against a pillar.

"Just go Sammy." Dean replied.

The Doctor, Clara and Sam left.

Dean laid Jack's body out so that he didn't lie at such an awkward angle.

Dean's stomach was in his mouth and he was sure it had nothing to do with the T.A.R.D.I.S. He bent low over Jack and looked at Jack's face. Blood had covered one side of his face and his eyes had rolled back into his head.

Dean wanted to clean Jack's face up but there didn't seem to be a bathroom or a kitchen. Don't these people eat and shit, Dean thought.

He walked over to Cas.

"How you holding up."

"Dean, I think something was trying to stop us from coming here." Cas said ignoring Dean's question as he lay there bleeding from his noise and mouth.

"That doesn't matter you got us here." Dean said trying to sooth him.

"That's-"

"Sh Cas, The others will get the amulet." Dean said trying to calm Cas.

There was a gasp from the other side of the room, Dean looks over and sees Jack's eye's focused on he's.

"You won't be as impressed the next time." Jack said moving his hand to his head.

"Jack." Dean said running over.

"I'm fine. What happened to cupid over there?" Jack asked indicating Cas.

"He stopped the T.A.R.D.I.S." Dean answered rubbing some of Jack's blood off Jack's face with his sleeve.

"Really? Wow now that's impressive." Jack said sitting up.

Cas gave a weak smile.

Jack went to stand up.

"No don't" Dean tried to tell him.

"I'm fine it's Cas we have to worry about." Jack said fixing his blood stained coat.

Dean looked at Jack unsure if he was joking or not.

Jack walked over to Cas and Dean fallowed.

As they reached him the T.A.R.D.I.S door opened again.

Clara and Sam walked in covered in blood.

Clara looked traumatised and Sam seemed angry.

"What happened?" Dean asked standing back up.

"Demons." Sam said giving the Doctor an angry look.

"What how was I to know?!" The Doctor said defensively.

"Oh I don't know maybe because you have a time machine?!" Sam said getting into the Doctors face.

"It's a time machine not a crystal ball." Eleven said free from blood stains.

"Clara, are you ok?" Jack asked.

"She's fine." Said the Doctor waving his hand in a never mind sort of way.

Clara nodded to Jack.

"I can see how much you care about the people who travel with you," Dean barked as he walked up to the Doctor.

"I thought you wanted to stop the Devil, or did I get that wrong?" The Doctor asked as he started to prepare the T.A.R.D.I.S to leave.


	4. Lost Baggage Claim

"So where is it?" Dean asked.

Sam held out the amulet.

"I can't believe we had to come back for that tat." Dean said touching it but not taking it.

Sam's face fell.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Nothing." Sam said shaking his head.

Just then Clara said something about a first aid box , she disappeared and returned quickly with a first aid box. Clara knelt down by Cas and started to dab his mouth and noise, Dean had a sudden urge to push Clara out of the way. Dean became aware of the feeling of Jack's eye's on him.

"So how did they know you were coming?" Dean asked turning to face the others.

"The demons? No idea one minute we were in the room next minute it was a free for all." Sam shrugged as he spoke.

"And now we know this doesn't work on them." The Doctor said flipping his sonic screwdriver into the air and then putting in his pocket.

"Yeah talk about no use nor ornament." Clara rumbled.

"Hey!" the Doctor shouted offended. "I tripped one up."

"Wow get a medal for the hero." Dean snapped.

"Dean, the Doctor has done some amazing things for this world." Jack said stepping forward.

"Yeah and one day he will sit on the side lines and watched as the world burns." Dean didn't know how right he was.

"Mean while he has died over and over to save this world." Jack said now standing so close to Dean that Dean could feel the heat off Jacks breath.

"He's not the only one. Sam, you and I have all died to save this world even Cas has." Dean retorted angrily.

"He has spent the best part of his life protecting this planet."

"And how many people have died or been left behind in all that time."

Jack didn't answer.

"I thought so."

"There are more important things." Sam told him trying to stop the fight.

Dean turned away from Jack and moved to the other side of the console so that he wouldn't be staring at Jack or Cas.

Dean had been so busy arguing with Jack that it took him a few minutes to realise that Sam had the amulet around his neck.

"Why are you wearing that stupid thing."

Sam didn't answer and walked over to Cas.

Clara came over to Dean, she pretended to sort the first aid box.

"For the one person who's supposed to know him best you're pretty clueless aren't you?!" She said closing the box and walking out of the room again.

Dean watched Sam and saw that as Sam talked to Cas he played with the amulet.

Maybe Clara was on to something it was probably the most intelligent thing she has said.

"Anyone any idea where to next?" The Doctor asked his hand hovering over a leaver.

Slowly Sam stood up, he took the amulet off and looking at it deeply he handed it the Doctor.

Dean had noticed it yet said nothing.

The Doctor held the amulet over a hole in the console, it got sucked in.

"Are you sure this will help you find the Devil after all it couldn't help find God." Jack asked.

Dean didn't answer and just gave Jack an evil look.

The Doctor pushed the leaver and the T.A.R.D.I.S began to were and whine.

"Fingers crossed." Jack mumbled as he tried to look out of the windows above the doors.

This time the T.A.R.D.I.S landed in seconds.

"What is that it?" Clara asked.

Clara moved forward and opened the doors.

"Stand back!" Sam shouted as he pulled her back and stood in the door way with his gun raised.

Dean and Jack fallowed him out.

They came into a clearing where the soil was damp and a reddy brown. Sam's footsteps sank into the ground the dark sky cast next to no light and the trio found it difficult to see.

"Sam!" Dean shouted grabbing his brother as Sam lost his footing and nearly fell over the edge of a river bank.

"What is it?" Sam asked looking at the stream.

"Blood." Jack said taking a closer look.

"It can't be, how many people would have had to die to make that much blood?" Sam asked.

"Not that many only a few hundred." A voice said

The three men turned to see Lucifer standing there in his vessel.

"Sam." Lucifer said.

"Wow the sexual tension, it's like he wants to get inside you." Jack said to Sam.

"Hello Jack." Lucifer said turning to face him.

"You know each other?" Dean asked Jack with his gun raised.

"Oh Jack and I go way back." Lucifer answered.

"You don't die as many times as me and not go to hell once or twice." Jack said smiling.

Dean shot Lucifer and Lucifer laughed.

"Please let's just save time, silver, salt, iron, dead man's blood and spells are not going to work. I would have left ages ago but I thought what's the point. It's actually quite a lot of fun watching you lot squirm. I will take you Sam and you will say yes."

"Well as long as it's consensual." Dean said sarcastically.

"In Detroit." He said before he disappeared.

Dean turned and saw the doctor standing behind him.

"Well thank goodness you were here." Dean shouted as he pushed passed the doctor and walked passed Clara.

Dean walked into the T.A.R.D.I.S which was empty.

"Where the hell is Cas?" Dean demanded when he saw that Cas was gone.

"He just said he was getting called and then disappeared." The Doctor answered.

"Awesome." Dean groaned sarcastically.

"Lucifer is still turning water into blood and Cas goes AWOL. Just like old times." Dean exhales with annoyance.


	5. Dean and the Kingdom of the Crystal Boxes

Dean muttered to himself about the state of his boots, the blood socked soil clung to them.

"I'll show you where you can clean them." Clara told Dean as she nodded her head towards the hall.

They walked down the hall in silence which was only broken whenever Clara called out a change in direction.

Dean noticed that they passed the room with the crystal boxes. Dean was puzzled when he noticed that Clara walked with a sort of skip in her step.

"Here!" Clara called walking in through a door to the right.

Here was a large bathroom with toilet stalls and in the corner a glass shower.

Dean felt a little awkward, when he turned around he expected Clara to be looking at him but she wasn't. Instead she was standing at one of the many hand basins with a damp cloth, trying to get the demon blood out of her dress. In the places where the blood had landed it had turned her cobalt blue dress a puple-ish colour, the once white PeterPan collar was now pink and so were the matching white birds that patterned the dress.

"Why is it that the moment you wear something new it gets ruined. I should know better white clothes attract dirt or that's what my mam always said." Clara said smiling in the mirror at Dean.

Dean smiled back as he took his second boot off.

There was a pop and Crowley appeared next to Clara.

"That looks like a devil to get out…. need a hand." He said with a smirking wink.

"No thank you!" Clara said moving away.

Crowley smiled and turned to Dean "Mind giving us a moment alone?" He asked.

Clara looked terrified.

"I'm not leaving her alone with you!" Dean growled at him.

"I was talking to her." Crowley said exhaling the cigar smoke.

Clara looked at Dean questioningly, Dean nodded and she left the room.

"So I see things are going well for you." Crowley said circling Dean.

"Oh bite me. Who knew the Colt wouldn't work? I mean you said it would." Dean snapped defensively.

"I was talking about you and Jack." Crowley said correcting him on the topic.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked crossing his arms. "Wait!" He said lifting his hand as Crowley was about to speak "I don't want to know. Whatever you say would be anything but the truth."

Dean bent down to pick up his boots.

"The truth is that when Jack finally dies he's soul will be mine and he and I both know it. It's mine because of what he did. Something I couldn't even do and we both know what I'm capable of." He placed his cigar in his mouth.

Dean had been in the act of storming out but he paused. They both knew that Crowley had Dean interested.

"Oh yeah what's that?" Dean demanded.

"I thought whatever I say would be anything but the truth."

Dean gave Crowley a glare.

"Just ask him who Steven Carter is."

"Is that an ex of his or something?" Dean asked.

"If you didn't want to ask him, I hear this fine woman holds a few answers." Crowley said stroking the hand basin.

"I'm asking you!" Dean shouted stepping forward.

*Pop*

Dean stood alone in the bathroom.

"Son of bitch!" Dean said flinging his boots across the room.

A while later, when Dean had calmed down and cleaned his shoes, he walked up the hall on his own.

He stopped when the shimmering blue light came out from under a door to his right.

"I hear this fine woman holds a few answers." Echoed Crowley's voice in Dean's head.

Dean reached out his hand and the door opened easily with a click.

The room was how he and Jack had found and left it, which was clean and untampered. Dean tried to remember which way he had gone before. He went this way and that way, eventually he found the bookcase he was looking for.

There it was, the box that's contents was dark and smoky looking but made the name shine in a crystal-y blue shimmering light.

Jack Harkness

Dean touched it, nothing happened, he felt everywhere for an opening but he didn't find one. He knocked on it, punched it, at the same time the room seemed to creak.

Dean tried to lift the box but it didn't move, then ran his hand over the back of the box where a gap between the box and the wall should be but instead he found a tube, quite like the hose of a hoover, only this felt like a mixture between skin and gel.

Dean pulled and pulled the box, the lights flickered, He pulled as hard as he could till he landed on the ground holding the box. The TARDIS made a God awful noise somewhere between a screech of pain and a wail of sadness.

Dean took out his knife in the flickering light and tried to force the box open, he hadn't been trying long when he saw the Doctor run up to him.

"What are you doing?" The Doctor said in a heart wrenching sob.

Dean sat still on the ground while the Doctor, after ripping the box from Dean, was trying to repair the damage.

"Shhh it's ok, he didn't mean it. I'll make you better. Shhh." The Doctor was saying to sexy as he moved his sonic screwdriver over the hose and hole in the box.

When the lights came back to normal and the TARDIS stopped screeching and returned back to its usual low hum, the Doctor turned back and saw Dean crying, yes actually crying.

"Dean?!" the Doctor asked unable to hide his shock.

"Dean why did you do that and why are you crying?"

"Jack."

"Jack? I don't understand. How does he fit into all this?" The Doctor indicated the room.

"I need to know, there is so much I don't know about him." Dean sobbed.

The Doctor turned and saw that it was Jack's box that Dean had attacked.

"You need to talk to Jack." The Doctor said hunkering down on the back of his heels; he had reached out his hand to Dean's shoulder and thought better of it.

"I have a feeling he won't tell me about this!"

"About what?" The Doctor asked. He had in a way been jealous that Jack had fallen for Dean after he finished with Cas. The Doctor had assumed Jack would go back to him like they always seemed to do, the Doctor and Jack always seemed to gravitate back to each other between other relationships, but not this time. Now the Doctor felt guilty, guilty for all the looks and snide remarks he made.

"Maybe you would know… who is Steven Carter?" Dean mumbled half afraid of the answer.

The Doctor's hearts' dropped and he's breath froze in his lungs.

"Jack should be the one to tell you." The Doctor tried to sound positive.

"I'm asking you. Is It an ex I mean I can handle that. Christ I've put up with you and Cas. But Crowley sounded like this guy was different. Was he?"

The Doctor took a breath; he felt his hearts' beat again. This was not his problem and he knew it. If he had any brains he would stay out of it, but maybe it was his problem maybe Dean would rip the TARDIS apart 'till he got answers and better he get his answers from him then Crowley. At least the doctor would tell the whole truth and not half-truths like Crowley.

"No, he wasn't an ex." The Doctor said running his long thin fingers through his fringe. Then he fixed his sleeves and pulled down the front of his coat.

"A long time ago, well from your perspective, Jack was in love with a woman called Lucia. They had a child together, a beautiful little girl called Alice."

"Jack has a kid? What has that got to do with anything?"

"I'm getting there. Just like her parents she only had one child only she had a boy."

"Steven Carter?!" Jack guessed.

The Doctor nodded.

"Some years later, about ten, Jack had a difficult decision to make. One I hope I never have to make."

"What decision?"

"Jack had a choice to make."

"What choice?"

"There was an alien invasion, they were called 456 and they wanted all the children earth had."

"So how does Jack's…. Grandson fit in?"

The Doctor took a long breathe.

"The only way he could stop them from killing all the children was too….. sacrifice his grandson."

An awkward silence grew in the room.

"He killed his own grandson?" Dean asked again almost as if he was making sure he had heard the Doctor right.

The Doctor nodded.

"To save the rest of the children of earth. If they got what they wanted they would have taken his grandson anyway." The Doctor tied to point out.

"How can someone do that, what a monster !"

"Jack did what he had to."

"No, I could never do that - I would die first." Dean said with a vision of Ben in his head. Ben had been the son of a woman Dean dated but for her safety Dean had their memory wiped. She had been the only woman he loved, before and after her there were only men.

"Then what does that say about you. That day only one parent lost a child, the human race is still going and for that Jack lost everything that earth held for him. That is sacrifice!" The Doctor said angrily getting to his feet.

Quietly the duo walked back to the console room.

They walked in and Cas was explaining something to a confused Clara while Sam stood awkwardly talking to Jack.

Dean started to think maybe he would have been better off if he had never gotten with Jack. Sam and he wouldn't have such a void between them and Dean wouldn't be feeling like this.

Jack finished talking with Sam and walked over to Dean.

"Where to now, hot stuff?" Jack asked taking Dean's hand.

Dean looked at Jacks hand, how different he felt about it only hours ago.


	6. Let's Stay Frienemys'

Dean mumbled something about needing to talk to Sam and dropped Jacks hand.

Dean's coolness was not unfelt by Jack.

"What do you want to do?" Dean asked Sam a little loudly.

"I guess go home, regroup. Come up with a plan b?!" Sam said shrugging.

"Sounds good to me." Dean agreed turning to face the Doctor.

"The U.S here we come." The Doctor said cheerfully as he ran around the controls.

Jack caught the Doctor's eye and the Doctor gave him a meaningful look, this told Jack what he thought, for some reason Dean was mad at Jack.

Dean asked Sam to come with him.

Sam walked down the hall with Dean. Dean took him the opposite way down the hall away from the memory bank, to keep him out of temptations way. Dean had no idea where they were going but he wanted Sam on his own. They never really spoke about relationships it was the only topic they seemed to fail at communicating on.

Dean opened a door to the left; it looked like a bed room. Dean paused did he really want this conversation to happen here, but the bed seemed so inviting and after the disappointment with not killing Luci Dean walked into the room he sat on the edge of the bed.

"What's up?" Sam asked when Dean didn't speak.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"That's new." Sam said laughing.

"I know that this is a lot for you." Dean started.

"Hey you too I mean Michael wants you-"

"No me… me being, me." Dean gave Sam a significant look.

"Ok I'm lost." Sam said shaking his head.

"Me being … you know gay."

"Dude I do not-"

"I know maybe I should have gone on pretending. I mean you liked her so much and I'm not saying that I didn't love her but you know she was a one off-"

"Wow are you talking about Li-"

"I told you don't say her name, not ever and you promised." Dean shouted.

"Sorry."

"Look the thing is I knew this was a lot for you to deal with I mean the past year has been difficult on you I see that and maybe I should have kept Jack a secret like the rest but I thought it was the real deal. I should have known how it would make you feel believe me I know what dad would have said. And I know you think the same, "I won't have a Fa-"

"Don't say that word!" Sam shouted over his brother.

"Why not it's what dad would say. It's what you're thinking."

"If you stopped talking long enough I'd tell you what I'm thinking." Sam said sitting next to his brother.

Dean waited for Sam to talk again.

"I love you Dean you're my big brother, nothing is ever going to change that. I don't care, no wait I mean I don't mind who you… eh love or you know sleep with. That doesn't change anything between us, we still hunt and look out for each other, I would never let that change. We're family and the only thing I care about when it comes to who you date is that they deserve you."

"If that's true why all the awkwardness with Jack?" Dean asked.

"Dude really? In the past twenty four hours I've walked in on you like three or more times, and besides for the best part of a year I've had to put up with Jack flirting with everything in existence, which also includes me. I'm sorry if I hate my brother's boyfriend flirting." Sam said a little angry.

Without warning Dean hugged Sam.

Sam put his arms around his older brother and for the first time in over a year he felt like Dean actually needed him.

They walked back to the control room. Sam had noticed even though they had cleared the air over Dean's sexual orientation Dean still seemed very upset about something.

"Ah just in time." The Doctor said pulling a leaver down.

"What we're here?" Dean asked suddenly coming back to earth, he sounded shocked and panicky.

"What's the matter, not looking forward to getting back on the road?" Jack asked coming around Dean's shoulder.

"No!" Dean shuddered without meaning to.

Jack took a step back and looked shocked.

"I mean I think I'm just tired." Dean said shaking his head.

Jack gave him a disbelieving look.

Dean looked over at Cas, he had said something to Clara which she took as a joke. Dean watched as she laughed and then her face fell as she realised that Cas hadn't been joking.

Dean chucked and then realised that Jack had been watching him.

The doctor seemed to glide to the door.

"And here we are good old U.S of A. Come on" He called to the others.

There they were standing in the car park they had left a day ago.

Dean stepped out of the TARDIS wishing that the Doctor had gone back in time and told them not to bother but Dean knew even if the Doctor did do that Dean wouldn't have listen. "Sometimes you can be so fucking stubborn" Dean told himself.

Jack walked to Dean's side, sensing that the couple needed a moment Sam told Cas that himself and Cas should go to the car.

Jack took Dean's hand, Dean flinched and hoped Jack couldn't tell.

Jack noticed Dean's flinch.

"The Doctor told me what he had to explain to you." Jack started he saw a light blush show in Dean's face. The morning sky wouldn't allow it to hide.

"I understand that it probably changed your opinion of me and I understand. If the shoe was on the other foot I don't know how I would feel. The only thing I can say is that I will never forgive myself, I will never close my eyes and see anything but that moment. It will haunt me forever and I have no right to ask you to forgive me for not telling you. I never expected us to mean this much to each other. I'm sure it was as big a surprise to you, I can't expect you to forgive me for something I can't forgive myself for. Besides I think you've been overlooking someone closer to home, Cas is a good man, a better man than me." Jack kissed Dean on the mouth, the kiss you give someone when you know it's good bye.

When Jack pulled back Dean felt he should say something but he didn't know what.

Jack smiled a weak smile and let go of Dean's hand.

The Doctor had been talking to Cas and Sam by the car, when he saw Jack head for the TARDIS he leaned in to Sam.

"Amy Pond says hello." The Doctor stood back and took in the look on Sam's face.

The Doctor walked with Jack to the TARDIS where Clara stood in the doorway.

Sam was shocked then happy, that was till he realised that his newly reformed bond with his brother would probably become strained again Amy pond was a secret Sam had and he wanted her to stay that way.

"Good luck with the apocalypse and all." The Doctor said smiling until he realised how hopeless he made the situation sound.

Jack saluted Sam and Cas, Sam nodded and Cas just continued to look at him.

Jack gave another weak smile to Dean and walked inside the TARDIS.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean-" The Doctor began to whisper in Dean's direction.

"I know." Dean said dismissively. "'Till next time Doc." Dean said walking to the car.

"Let's go." Dean said gesturing to Sam to get in the passenger seat.

"It was nice to meet you all." Clara said waving from the doorway of the TARDIS.

Dean waved at her quickly and then got into the car.

"Isn't Jack coming?" Sam asked as Dean put the key in the ignition.

"No, he's where he belongs." Dean said.

Dean looked in the rear view mirror at Cas who sat on the back seat and for some reason he had a long face.

"I'm sorry Dean I know how much you l-" Sam started.

"Let's just concentrate on killing Lucifer." Dean said as the car started to run and the radio came on.

Celine Dion was singing All By Myself.

Dean gave the radio a disgruntled look and Sam turned it off.

The impala pulled out of the car park just as the TARDIS began to fade.

Dean looked at the blue box in the wing mirror till there was nothing left then he looked at Cas again in the rear-view mirror.

Maybe Jack was right … but could Dean really think of Cas as anything else and even if he could now was most definitely not the time.

"I see things worked out for the best?" Crowley said standing behind Jack as he leaned on the console to steady himself.

"leave it." Jack mumbled.

"Wow someone's touchy." Crowley chuckled.

"Why did you do it." Jack demanded turning to face him.

"Hello king of hell"

"No you are just so jealous you can't stand to see me happy. You wish someone loved you like that and because no one dose you can't stand to see anyone else be loved." Jack said pushing Crowley.

"So what!" Crowley screeched. "Don't I deserve to be loved too?!"

Clara looked shocked as if the idea was wholly imposable.

"If someone can love you why not me?" Crowley asked Jack.

Clara felt like she was missing out on something.

"Maybe you should be loved, maybe it would be the making of you." Jack said and Crowley cheered up.

"This was good, very therapeutic. We must do it again sometime. Let's stay frienemys'." Crowley said before clicking his fingers and disappearing.

Jack stood there, his eyes stinging with the effort of trying not to cry.

He knew that eventually he would turn to the Doctor for comfort and whether it was a week or a month the Doctor would find a way to make Jack get over Dean, but right now nothing anyone could say to Jack could do that. Jack felt the loss of Dean's love and the renewed guilt over Steven and he knew the guilt would last longer, it always did.

"So, any ideas?" The Doctor asked clapping his hands together and pushing buttons.


	7. Just Like a Tattoo

Things inside the Impala had changed with no clues on the Devil or how to kill him Dean had begun to send Cas on long difficult missions upstairs. While He, Dean, took on any job that he thought might end in killing something, anything, Dean was not fussy. He had been like this since the blue box dissolved. Sam had tried many times to get his brother to open up, but it seemed their heart to heart in the T.A.R.D.I.S was all the opening up Dean was willing to do.

They drove down motorways, Highways, and byways, streets, lanes, dirt roads, over bridges and parked up on ferries. But no matter how far they travelled or what Dean killed he wasn't satisfied. Dean drank more and slept less, if either were possible. Dean kept booking a room of his own but through the walls of the cheap motels Sam could hear Dean crying, and it broke Sam's heart almost as much as losing Jessica had.

Sam had tried just about everything he could think of a bobby-vention, letting Dean try to kill, drink and insomnia it out of his system but nothing worked. One day Sam realised how bad things were when Dean and he went to a coffee shop and Dean left his cherry pie un eaten and had ignored the stunningly hot male waiter who did nothing but flirt heavily with Dean. Sam had already suggested that Dean "Work" it out of his system with a hot guy or two but Dean hadn't talked to him for hours on the days he suggested this.

They seemed stuck in a loop and any time Sam mentioned anything about Jack or the Doctor Dean would storm out and Sam would hear him return after hours of drinking, falling into bed in the early hours of the morning and through the thin walls Deans shacking, howling cries would keep Sam awake and Sam too would find his eyes streaming with tiers. Sam couldn't believe that after everything Dean had gone through to be honest with Sam and more so, Dean himself, Dean had now lost the person he loved enough to deal with all his inner turmoil and now he was back at the beginning and worse off. Sam had even looked into a spell to make Dean forget Jack, but Sam knew this would risk Dean being able to remember that he had come out or at least been honest with himself and Sam couldn't rob Dean of that, after all it was the only good thing to come out of the enter mess.

"No!" Dean was shouting at Sam.

Dean was driving the Impala fast down a small country road.

"Look Dean if you want-" Sam began.

"Dude I swear if you bring him up again im going to take out my flick knife and cut your hair off." Dean threatened his younger brother.

"All I'm saying is-"

"I swear I'll turn you into uncle Fester!" Dean said taking one hand off the wheel and taking out his knife but not opening it.

Sam looked at the knife then pouted and turned to look out the window without another word.

Dean had only put the knife back in his pocket when there was a *Flapping* sound.

Dean slammed on the breaks.

"Cas a heads up would be nice!" Dean growled his sour-apple green eye's gave Cas a scalding look in the rear view mirror.

"Sorry." Cas said looking at his feet.

"It's ok Cas." Sam told him and Dean gave him a look to the contrary. "Did you find anything out?" Sam asked now that Cas looked up, even though Cas was looking at Dean.

"The Demons seem to have vacated or perhaps "Laying low" as you say." Cas replies in his gravelly voice.

"Oh gee thanks Cas we didn't know that a month ago, wow it really is doing us good to have an angel on the team." Dean said laughing sarcastically.

"Dean!" Sam yelled seeing that Dean's words had hurt Cas.

Dean sighs but didn't apologise.

"Yes Dean you are right that was a waste of time. I'll only return when I have valuable information." And before either of the Winchester brothers can agree or disagree Cas is gone.

"Why do you talk to him like that?" Sam demanded.

"Never you mind." Dean grumbled.

Sam had a feeling something was going on that he didn't know about, then again that's the story of Sam's life.

This new town was just the same as all the others, Dean killed something, Dean drank, Dean cried. Sam didn't know how much of this he could take.

Then, yes longer than it should have taken him to think of it, Sam called Cas. Dean had been crying ten minutes already and Sam knew it could go on for hours, He called Cas but he didn't come, Sam prayed for an hour and only when he heard the Dean's gargling, whimpering snores, created by falling asleep crying, then Cas appeared.

Cas flopped on to the bed seemingly drained.

"Cas what's wrong?" Sam asked rushing forward in case Cas fell.

Cas looked guilty and looked at Sam out of the corner of his eye.

"You may not like it, you may think I am interfering"

"In what?" Sam asked him.

"Dean"

"Actually that's why I called you here I was wondering if you would help me with him, I don't know what you can do but he needs help." Sam said suddenly feeling guilty that he was going behind Dean's back.

"For the last month I have spent every night watching over Dean. I calm him."

"Every night?" Sam didn't know if he should be impressed or worried that Cas was burning the candle at both ends.

"How do you calm him?" Sam was trying not to give a mental image room to materialise.

"I find all the happy thoughts and memory's he has and I let my grace fill his mind with them. It can be quite draining." Sam could see that much for himself.

"Does he know you do that?" Sam asked again in awe.

"No if he did he wouldn't say the things he does."

"What things? I've never heard him say anything." Sam says half shocked.

"Mostly he cries about Jack, nearly all the time. But sometimes he talks about some guy called Steven and…" Cas hesitated.

"And?" Sam encouraged him.

"Sometimes, just once or twice, he said my name but in an angry tone I told myself he doesn't mean it but my help has weakened since both times."

Sam had no idea who Steven was.

"If he's like that when you are calming him down , what would he be like without you around?" Sam asked.

"I …."

"Yeah?!" Sam said.

"I found him one night almost a month ago… cleaning his gun."

For a minute Sam had to remind himself that Cas doesn't do metaphors or eupamisems so he knew he was being literal.

"Ok."

"With the safety off and a mag in."

"What?" Sam shouted and there was a loud grunting snore from next door.

"What? And you are only telling me this now?" Sam asked lowering his voice.

"I thought Dean wouldn't want me to tell you."Cas shrugged.

"I don't think Dean is exactly able to decide what is best at the moment." Sam growled.

Cas moved sheepishly.

"Ok so what do we do now?" Sam asked.

"I couldn't think of anything else to do." Cas said apologetically.

"I know I'm not criticising you. I just can't take this anymore."

"Maybe we should ask Dean what he wants." Cas suggested.

Sam didn't relish the idea but what other option did they have.

Sam and Cas walked into Dean's room and slowly Sam sat on the edge of the bed.

Dean lay there fully dressed including his muddy boots and bloody coat. Dean's eyelids were red and in the corners of his eyes were dried tears. Sam sat forward and turned on the lamp by the bed.

"Dean." Sam said gently shacking Dean's shoulder.

"Dean!" Sam said a little louder.

"Sammy?" Dean said still half asleep and still drunk, he opening his eyes a crack. Sam could smell the beer on his breath.

The word Sammy had put a pin in Sam's heart.

"Yeah, look Dean Cas and I are worried about you."

"About me?" Dean mumbled into his pillow closing his eye's again.

"Yeah you know.." Sam started to say but hesitated "With the whole Jack thing."

Dean's eyes opened slowly. He sat up and rubbed his face.

"Ok, must have miss heard you." Dean snapped.

Even in his drunken state the name Jack made an impact.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"I know everything Dean. I can't take it anymore, you're my brother I can't watch you go through this."

"Watch me?!" Dean repeated.

"Ok I can't hear it any more. It's breaking my heart."

"Your heart?" Dean jeered.

"I know how much this is hurting you, but you need help and Cas can do that." Sam explained.

It was only now that Dean realised that Cas was in the room.

"What are you doing here?" Dean demanded of Cas.

"I told you this was a bad idea." Cas told Sam when it had been Cas's idea.

"You brought him here." Dean demanded of Sam.

"Look he can make it all go away." Sam said ignoring Dean's question.

"How?" Dean still looked half asleep or perhaps he was still quite drunk.

"I can access your memories and thoughts, I can remove the painful ones, but."

"Of course there's a but." Dean said yawning.

"It may take some of your other memories."

"What ones?" Dean asks his voice a little smaller, he looks down as if the carpet on the floor is suddenly interesting.

"I have no way of knowing." Cas admits.

Sam looks anxious maybe this is selfish of him.

What's there to lose. Dean thinks to himself and he thinks about the gun under his pillow. It can't be worse than this.

Dean nods he can't bring himself to look up.

Dean doesn't want to forget the good things about …. Jack but he doesn't want this either.

Cas moves forward and Sam gets up off the bed to make room for Cas to sit beside Dean.

Sam stands by the wall.

"You have to let your mind free, you can't restrict what I can see and feel otherwise this won't work and your mind will be fractured." Cas warns.

Cas reached out his right hand as if to place it on Deans face, Cas paused. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Cas asked.

Dean, unable to speak nods. Dean can feel the tears building in his eyes. What is Cas waiting for? written permission? Dean askes himself.

Cas reached out his hand and took Deans face as if he were going to kiss him. Which is what Dean thought until Cas closes his eyes but stays where he is.

Dean feels pressure in his head like a head ach coming on.

Sam sees Dean's eyes widen and become vacant.

Cas flips through Deans memory as if he were flipping through a filing cabinet Cas quickly skimes over Dean's childhood most of which he is aware of. Not much surprising in his teen years either except for one thing John, Dean's dad catches Dean with a skin mag, which both would have been embarrassed enough about if it weren't for the fact the mag was of naked men. For a moment Cas deliberates over removing the memory he can tell that Dean often recalls it and the emotions attached to it. It tells Cas that Dean feels angry, embarrassed and worst of all ashamed. John had grabbed the mag and, after Dean rearranged himself, John had dragged him out of the motel and made Dean burn it. John had even used that hideous F word, no not fuck that Dean could deal with but this one cut Dean worse than any knife had. Sam never knew but only because he had been asleep on the couch after hunting all day and studying all night. John had also forbid Dean from telling Sam, "There's no need for him to know you're as bad as half the stuff we hunt." His dad said pouring himself a drink.

Cas decides not to remove the memory removing the ones he has too will be tricky enough.

Cas keeps looking, past secret one night stands with men while pretending to his father that he has a girlfriend once he even paid a girl to come to their motel and pretend to make out when he knew his dad would walk in. Denial seemed to work wonders for John Winchester.

Eventually Cas began to slow down he was nearing the first time Dean met Jack. Cas could feel what Dean felt, Cas had been there himself and found Dean to be stand off-ish with Jack. Cas had always wondered what had changed Dean's mind but now he could see that nothing had truly changed except Dean's honesty with himself.

Cas could feel Dean's excitement, his arousal and also his dread. Dread of letting the cat out of the bag, Falling for Jack would be dangerous Sam had never met any of Dean's lovers. Dean couldn't let that change.

Cas held on to the memory as if he were collecting it, next were all the flirting memories and acting in front of Sam as if Jack was like that with everyone, the blue box, the mad man first in a tie then with a new face in a bowtie, this bowtie wearing one Dean felt was an asshole.

Cas did his best to let go of any memory that Jack did not appear in which was hard because he still had to remove the bits of conversation with Jack or the Doctor in it and there seemed to be a lot.

The moment Cas was dreading, Jack stood in front of Dean naked one minute Dean is talking to a fully dressed Jack at a table and when Dean blinks Jack's cloths seem to disappear. Dean's shock is palpable to Cas, it seemed that Dean was as shocked by it as Cas suddenly felt.

Jack smiled down at Dean who was suddenly on fire with feelings.

"We shouldn't-" Dean started to say to Jack.

"Why not?" Jack asked.

"My brother might-"

"They're the other side of town. And I think two months is long enough to wait." Jack smiled as he leaned down and pushed Dean's coat off his shoulders.

"What about Cas I thought-"

"It was over before it began." Jack says shrugging though there is a hint of sadness in his voice Cas is aware of his own pain at this memory and even though Dean is evidently happy Cas decides he can't watch the whole memory to pick things out so as Dean leans across the bed to join Jack Cas adds the memory to the loop of memories waiting to be deleted.

In a way it only gets worse for Cas he is grateful in a way that Dean had not just slept with Jack without considering Cas's feelings but this was hard. It was one thing to know they were sleeping together it was another to see it acted out in HD memories.

Those stolen moment, meaningful looks, inside jokes and the sex, manly the sex it was difficult to watch two men he cared for so much, touch and feel each other the way they did. Their moans and the feeling of Deans lust for Jack and still worse his love. It took cas a while to realise that Dean's emotions felt more important to him. Maybe that was because he was in Dean's head and not Jack's. But Cas felt that this idea wasn't really the truth, Jack was Cas's ex so why was Cas more worried about Dean's feelings and reactions.

One particular memory Cas couldn't just quickly pass. Dean and Jack were having sex Dean leaning over Jack, their sweaty bodies moving together. Dean grunting and Jack moaning and begging Dean for more. It was then Cas realised that had he known Dean was "on his bus" so to speak perhaps Cas would never have dated Jack. Cas had seen Jack naked apparently disappearing cloths where Jack specialty. But Cas didn't have this burning lust for Jack the way Dean seemed to, yes Cas liked Jack but Cas was and still is a virgin. Watching this memory made Cas realise the only person he ever felt that passion for was the man who's face he held.

To Cas it felt odd he had "Come out" before Dean yet Dean had more experience and fallen in love before he did.

Cas tried to push his own feelings aside.

After … countless memories of sex with Jack, Cas started to get near the end of their time together. Cas saw Dean looking at Jacks hand intertwined with Dean's. Cas felt the flutter of Dean's heart and the feeling of comfort and safety. There could be no doubt Cas knew Dean had truly loved Jack. Not only because of this memory but because Dean had seen a future with Jack, something Cas couldn't do when he was with Jack though it still hurt Cas when things ended with Jack and him though that was a long time ago now and there had been no one since for Cas.

Cas came across the memory that told him what Dean had found out about Jack and how he had found out. Cas had also not missed the feelings of irritation from Dean towards Cas. Though Cas knew it was mostly because of his history with Jack.

Dean's memories became disjointed, a hand on his back, a mouth biting his ear. These Cas knew were memories that had been remembered over and over making them snapshots of time. But then the man changed a little, Dean was still Dean but Cas couldn't make out the other man.

Dean's fingers ran though this man's hair as the both stood naked facing each other only this man's back was facing Cas and he couldn't see the face then everything was snap shots again. Dean's fingers on a smooth chest. His mouth on the man's neck, Dean's fingers so tight on the cheeks of his buttock that the firm flesh almost envelops the fingers and then there was his manhood. Cas had never seen one that size, then again besides his own, Jack's and now Dean's Cas had never seen any others. Cas started to wonder what kind of memories these were, they didn't feel heavy like real memories and they didn't feel light like thoughts and wishes like his future with Jack had.

Then Dean took the back of the man's head and neck in one hand, he pulled him in for a kiss and turned him so that each now stood where the other had moments ago. Cas was not sure if he had gasped out load or not but he found himself looking at his own face.

So this was a wish? Cas wondered but recalling that moments ago Jack had hinted at Cas and Dean becoming a couple then perhaps this is what an implanted idea felt like. After all the emotions were so torn with these flashes that from one to another the emotions changed, the feeling made Cas feel sick like he was on a carnival ride that plummeted to the ground only stopping inches from the ground before hoisting you back up to the top again.

The last memory that Cas threaded into the delete loop started of bright, Cas knew that this was one that Dean had been trying to push to the back of his mind. What would Dean chose to hide even from himself? If Cas had found all these moments with Jack easily what was it Dean couldn't bear to look at. It took a little longer but slowly two figures begin to appear side by side walking together it is a few seconds before Cas realises it is Dean holding his hand and looking at their fingers the way Dean had looked at Jack's. It seemed that though the ghost of the thought was in Dean's head he had not allowed the thought to flourish. Too late this had to go just like the rest. Cas tried to leave in the a bit of the memory of Dean coming out to Sam but it was difficult he had to remove any mention of Jack but the feeling Dean had of loving some man had to stay or Cas would have to take the whole memory. That memory looked like a secret government document that had been released to the public, there were lots of gaps. It was a risk but Cas couldn't take that away from Sam and Dean, besides he also had to remove any memory of Cas and Jack to really eradicate the memory of Jack.

"Delete" Cas thought and for better or worse Jack was out of Dean's head even if he was still in Dean's heart.


	8. I Will Go Down With This Ship

Cas stood up and moved to the other side of the bed and turned away from Sam and Dean. Cas was trying to hide the feelings that he had about Dean's memory and Dean's feelings. Cas knew that Dean's feelings that he had removed and now held in his own head would fade though the memories would stay, but for now Cas was overrun with feelings.

Sam moved forward.

"Dean?" Sam said moving towards his brother as his eyes started to focus.

"Sam?" Dean asked.

"Did it work?" Sam asked.

There was a flapping noise and Sam looked up. Cas was gone without even as much as a "by your leave".

How could Cas understand his own mixed emotions about what he had seen when Dean's feelings rattled around his head. He needed to get out, he couldn't look at Dean. Whether it was because of the new ideas of Dean or Dean's own self-loathing Cas had no idea he just needed out.

"Sammy is that you?"

"Yeah Dean you ok?" Sam asked anxiously.

What if something had gone wrong and Cas had flown the coop.

"Dude, where are we?" Dean asked looking around.

"It looks like a bar after closing in here. Did we drink all of this?" Dean asked sitting on the end of the bed.

Ok so Dean knew who Sam was that was good.

"No." Sam answered honestly.

"Ok…" Dean said looking confused.

"You did." Sam told him.

"Me? On my own?" Dean was shocked as he looked at the empty beer cans and bottles that littered the floor and table even noticing the odd large bottle of whiskey.

"Seriously?" Dean asked in awe.

Sam realised his mistake.

"Yeah I bet you, you couldn't drink it all and well I was wrong." Sam tried to shrug.

"Sweet, so what did I win?" Dean asked.

"Win?" Sam repeated.

"Yeah you know the bet."

"Oh yeah right. Fifty bucks." Sam said as he pulled a wrinkled note out of his jeans pocket.

"Awesome!" Dean said when he straightened it and then putting it in his pocket.

Sam gave a weak smile.

"Dude where's all your crap?"

"In my room." Sam answered.

Ok so this was the fall out then.

"Your room? What are you a shy school girl?" Dean chuckled.

"Just made sense, I couldn't concentrate with your snoring." Sam joked.

Dean became his usual self pre-Jack only he openly flirted with men now. This was new usually he would ignore the men in front of Sam but this part seemed post Jack.

Sam hoped that Dean would find someone new fast. Not because Jack was nothing or a bad person but because being with Jack or rather being in love had made Dean the happiest Sam had ever seen him. Well other than when Dean was with Lisa. Though Dean had sworn Sam never to mention her again Sam had noticed that Dean had returned to normal quicker after her, though Sam knew Dean would never compare his love for Lisa to the love he felt for Jack and Sam knew Dean shouldn't have to after all love is love. But Sam also knew that Dean would only ever fall for a man in the future of that Sam was certain. Sam had become aware that Cas knew why Jack and Dean had finished but when Cas reappeared he told Sam "If Dean wanted you to know he would have told you when he had his memory, it's not my place."

And Sam knew he was right, but now the problem was that Sam couldn't sleep. Yes the "athletic" noses from next door didn't help but the truth was that it was Sam's guilt that kept him awake. The guilt that Sam had taken away the memory Dean had of loving Jack and being loved by Jack. He had done it so that Dean could be himself again but now the secret of it all and the guilt meant that Sam wasn't on form. Sam was caught between a rock and a hard place.

The good thing that came out of it all was Dean was more focused and dedicated on killing the Devil even more than ever. Dean was doing more research then Sam thought possible. Dean's room resembled more that or the war cabinet these days than a drinks cabinet.

"Ok so we know that salt, holy water, the demon blade, the Colt, knifes, guns, dead man's blood and demon traps don't work on him. So there's a good chance hexes and spells don't either." Dean said gesturing to the line of items on the bed.

"Which we knew months ago." Sam pointed out.

"Way to think positive." Dean jeered.

"So any new ideas?"

"Not 'till Snape checks in."

"Dude really a Harry Potter reference."

"What?" Dean asked affronted.

Sam shook his head.

"Do you think he will come up with something new?" Sam asked.

"I hope so, anything's better than nothing. As long as it's not measurements to turn me into Michael's prom dress." Dean said without a smile.

But that was months ago and after spending more months chasing their tail it was time. Sam had convinced Dean he could send Lucifer back to his cage. Dean had spent so long saying no that even when he realised that they had no other option he still said no. But what Dean didn't know is that his "Snape" was a triple agent.

Sam had convinced Cas to give Dean back his memories. Again Sam knew this was a little selfish but it needed to be done. Dean would either be too distracted or up set to stop Sam he would just agree because he didn't care anymore.

In a way Sam was right but Dean cared more than he thought.

"I don't care that you took the memory's I wanted them gone. I care that my brother doesn't go to hell in Luci's hand basket."

"What other option is there?" Sam pleaded.

"I can save us all. I can save my last family member you can go back, find Jack and forgive him for whatever it was that came between you too."

Dean didn't answer that was the last thing Dean wanted.

One day however shortly after regaining his memory Dean agreed with Sam and together they found a secluded place where they could open the cage and put Luci back.

Sam let Luci in and then Sam threw the rings at the wall (Ah yes maybe it's here I should mention that Sam and Dean had fought the Four horse men of the apocalypse. There was War a guy with a cool Red mustang, then there was Famine, who was one creepy dude, and Pestilence with that guy you needed a Kleenex handy and then there was Death who was surprisingly chilled. So the Winchesters stopped an Apocalypse all in a day's work for these boys)

After pretending to fight Luci Sam straightened up and smiled

"Sam's gone Dean." Luci said in Sam's voice.

"You lose."

And with that he disappeared.

Dean sat there in a dusty room somewhere in Detroit.

Luci had been right all along.

After following signs and tracking Luci Dean knew where he would be. Dean had tried to push the whole Jack thing to the back of his mind right now his brother needed him.

Dean had driven to an old grave yard where he met Bobby and Cas. Dean still felt awkwardness towards Cas. After all Dean now knew that Cas had seen everything in his head even the stuff he tried not to think about and not think about it was what he was trying to do right now.

"You sure this is the place?" Dean asked as he hugged Bobby.

They chatted for a minute but tried not to give a way too many planes those damned angels might be listening.

It wasn't long till Luci turned up first in Sam's body, then surprisingly Adam turned up.

"Woah, I'm meant to be your vessel?!" Dean said out raged.

"What think you special Dean?" Michael says as he moved Adam's lips.

Dean shrugged and nodded in a kinda-yeah way.

Cas throws a petrol bomb at Michael and he disappears, Luci blows Cas up.

In the end Luci is beating Dean up while Dean begs for Sam to come round. Something catches Luci's eye and for a second Sam takes over. Sam remembered playing in the car as children sticking toys where they don't belong and carving their initials in to the floor. He remembered Dean's face as he sat in the driver's seat trying to find the words to tell his little brother that he has fallen in love again only this time with a man and that apart from "Her" he has always been with men.

Sam found the pride he felt at that moment and the courage that Dean had shown in that moment and Sam backed away from his big brother.

"I have him Dean!" Sam shouted as he threw the rings on the ground.

"No Sammy." Dean tried to shout but the words come out as a whimper.

Just before Sam fell forward, Michael repapered and tried to stop Sam but Sam grabed hold of Michael and both fall through the gaping hole to Luci's cage.

Cas was by Dean's side, Cas rested two fingers on Dean's forehead and healed him. That was the first time Cas has touched Dean since giving him his memory's back. Cas felt a tingle. 

A whirring, whining sound fills the air, of course this would be when he would show up.


	9. Apocalyse Tuesday

Within seconds Cas was standing over Dean. He placed his hand on Dean's head and when Cas stayed his hand Dean was healed.

The TARDIS was now fully formed; one of its doors creaked open.

"What have I missed?" The Doctor asked.

"Oh only the Apocalypse!" Dean said angrily getting to his feet.

"It must be a Tuesday." The Doctor mused as he climbed out of the TARDIS.

The Doctor was unknowingly standing where the entrance to Luci's cage had been moments ago. Dean couldn't take his eyes off the ground.

"Dean is very angry." Cas explained.

"No kidding Cas." Dean shouted angrily.

Cas looked down at the ground with a saddened face.

Slowly Jack walked out of the TARDIS.

"Hi Dean." He welcomed with his enticing smile.

"Jack." Dean replied curtly.

"I want you to take me back and stop this from happening." Dean demanded of the Doctor.

"Sorry can't fixed point in time." The doctor apologised.

"You do whatever the hell it takes to get him back!" Dean shouted in the Doctors face, but wobbled a little.

"Come in side. You've had a shock." Clara said making her way around the others.

She took Dean's arm and even though he didn't see the point of moving, or breathing or life itself, he let her guide him into the TARDIS.

"Aren't you coming Cas?"

Dean heard Jack ask Cas.

"Leave him! There's nothing left here for him." Dean said as he stepped through the midnight blue doors.

Jack looked at Cas's face, it had fallen more if it was possible. Cas didn't meet Jack's eyes, he stared at the ground.

The ruffling noise told Dean that Cas was flown the coop.

Dean was leaning on the railing by the console. He knew that he's feet were on firm ground. The TARDIS was stationary but Dean felt as though this useless world was swirling in front of him. He felt as though he had just gotten of an amusement ride and that the world would take a while to straighten out.

"Dean." Jack said in a consoling tone as he placed a comforting hand on Dean's back.

"Don't!" Dean shouted as he pulled away, staggering to keep himself up right.

"Dean" Jack whispered pleadingly as he moved forward with his arms outstretched as if to embrace him.

Dean pushed Jack away. Jack took a step back to steady himself. Dean staggered around to the other side of the control and grabbed the Doctor by his lapels of his redish-brown jacket, which had the feel of a horse blanket.

"You are going to save my brother no matter what. I don't care what you've got to do, move Heaven and Earth if you have too."

"It's not that simple, see it's all wibbely wobbelly-"

"What is the fucking point of you?!" Dean demanded while shacking the Doctor.

"We use fudging here." Clara said calmly as she gently removed Dean's hands from the Doctor.

Dean collapsed with a clang to the metal floor sobbing his heart out.

"Shhh." Jack crooned to Dean as he kneed beside him and softly caressed Dean's hair.

"Sammy." Dean sobbed.

"Shhh."

"I had one job. "Look after Sammy" Dean began to cry in earnest.

Clara walked over to the doctor who had been moving the controls on the panel while pretending not to watch Jack and Dean. She tugged on the doctor's sleeve and gestured for them to leave the room.

"It was my job."

Outside unbeknownst to the occupants of the TARDIS Sam Winchester stood outside looking in through the top window in the door.

Sam leans back pauses and turns away, without any idea of where to go.

Sam did even notice that Cas was there.

Cas had seen that Dean was crying on Jack's shoulder.

"Perhaps this is better." Cas thought to himself.

How could he ever explain to Dean what had happened, after all could he really explain it to himself. What had really been the reason that for Cas risking his existence to forage in the cage and drag Sam out. If Dean was about to turn to Jack for consolement, Cas was not going to, as Dean put it, "Play the third wheel."

And that was how the Apocalypse was both won and lost.

For a time, or to be specific a year, Dean travailed with the Doctor and Clara and Jack. Some days Dean saw things he couldn't imagine, his mind hadn't been exposed like this since his dad told him and Sam about monsters. And there it was again that stab in his chest as though some creature was digging into it, separating flesh from bone, spreading his ribs apart and trying to puncher his heart. This pain always accompanied any thought of Sam and sometimes even Cas.

Dean would push Jack away, though there were days that Dean couldn't fight it anymore his strength would lose out to his guilt and self-loathing. Though he knew it would add to the guilt he felt, Dean would fall into Jacks arms, except his warm embrace, his warm everything. It would be a continuing cycle, HATE, GUILT, GRIEVE, GUILT, BRAKE DOWN, GUILT, SEX, GUILT, REPEAT.

It hurt Jack to see Dean like this, he understood it when Dean went through times of not being able to look at him, understood why Dean was distant and that when he wasn't distant why he would be mean and angry. Jack had to be there for Dean, even if it meant being there when Dean needed meaningless sex. Jack didn't not take any comfort in that, Jack wanted the old Dean back, he wanted to be Dean's and Dean to be his. This was not that, Jack was Dean's coping mechanism, a way to keep his head above water.

When Dean wasn't drinking, fighting or fucking he was tucked away in his room overcome by guilt and grief. Now he would cry himself to sleep thinking about how his feathery friend was dead and his brother was being tortured in the cage.

Some nights Dean would wake from nightmares in which he saw Sam suffer worse in the cage then he had in the pit. Those nights were only comforted by the bottom of a whiskey bottle or by creeping into Jack's bed, hoping he would be willing to fuck those images out of his head.

"Bad night?" Jack would ask coming around from his slumber.

"Not anymore." Dean would reply slipping, naked, between the sheets.

"Dean you're drunk." Jack would whisper half appalled half sympathetic.

"Think of it as free booze." Dean said leaning down and kissing Jack, letting his tongue stroke jack's.

Jack also felt torn about these nights. He knew that for Dean it was just sex and he couldn't deny it to him, it was he's way of coping but deep down Jack knew he was letting himself feel more about it then he should. He knew that when the day came that Dean no longer needed him in this way it would be a great loss to Jack and maybe that's why he always gave in so easily.

"Please Jack." Dean would beg with his plump lips ensnaring Jacks full bottom lip. Dean would slowly move his hand over Jacks already stirring groin.

And so it was for a year, until the day that changed all that.


	10. If I Stay

Life went on like that for Dean, no one moment happier than the other. He had begun to think that he would never be happy again or at least as happy as you can be when you’re a hunter. Often he thought of his childhood with Sam and the hunts they did together.  
The closest he got to happiness were the nights he spent with Jack but he was often too drunk to remember them, not that he would admit it if he did remember, and too ashamed in the morning to stay. Day time was the worst sober enough to remember the pain and the shame and only starting to get drunk and not yet drunk enough to look forward to spending the night in Jacks arms.  
It tore both Dean and Jack apart the TARDIS was no longer a happy place to be. Jack flirted with no one and Dean jeered no one.  
Clara thought that this is what it must been like to live with two ghosts, Jack and Dean were there physically but it felt like their old selves where miles away. Though her room was almost the other side of the TARDIS sometimes Dean’s voice carried down all the halls so that she heard Dean’s painful pleading with Jack. It was so painful Clara wanted to hug Dean until his pain went away, thought that wasn’t exactly what Dean was looking for from Jack. Clara also heard Dean’s cries afterwards and even the nights he spent in his own room Clara could hear him cry himself to sleep, though that did mean she heard everything else, thankfully she had an MP3 player to drown out their very vocal animalistic noises.  
The eleventh Doctor thought…..who the hell knows what he thought.  
Then one day Dean and the rest of the traveling show were trapped. Djinn had them cornered.  
Clara lay on the floor in some dream world, beside her lay the Doctor.  
“Well maybe this time I’ll actually die happy.” Joked Jack.  
“I die here I’m going to come back to haunt you!” Threatened Dean.  
Two Djinn closed in on Jack and Dean who backed away. Dean almost tripped over the Doctors comatose body.  
“So much for having two hearts.” He sniggered as he stepped over the Doctors arm.  
“Why run when you can have the happiest life you could never dream of.” The female Djinn said lifting her arm up, Dean could see her tattoos move down her arm towards her fingers.  
Dean held his shotgun a little higher.  
“Yeah that’s what they say about getting married too. Do I look like I’m running down the aisle?”  
That stung Jack a little but there were more pressing matters.  
The man made a dash for Jack, a shot rang out.  
“That’s itchy.” The male Djinn said sadistically as he grabbed Jack.  
“Jack!” Dean shouted turning his back on the woman and shooting her male companion.  
Dean pulled the trigger.  
“Salt won’t stop us.” Chuckled the woman as she knocked Dean’s shot gun out of his hand.  
“Worth a try.” Dean said with a sarcastic smile.  
As she raised her hand suddenly she screamed. When she fell to the floor Dean looked up.  
“Sam!” He said shocked.  
“Lecture later.” He replied throwing Dean a syringe of a white liquid and ganking the guy Djinn.  
After words Sam moved over to the Doctor and Clara, giving them a shot each in turn while Dean injected Jack.  
Jack sprung up like he was in a box.  
“Wow that was intense!” He told them breathlessly.  
The next to come around was the Doctor.  
“So it’s finally happened I’m dead!” Eleven said looking up at Sam.  
Sam shied, rolled his eyes and helped the Doctor up.  
Jack hunkered down and waited for Clara to come around.  
“The Children!” She gasped.  
“Ok.” Jack said in a that-wasn’t-strange-at-all tone.  
When it was determined that everyone was ok the situation refocused on how it was that Sam was alive.  
Dean gave his brother a hug.  
“I mean how-?”  
“Look I don’t know I searched for weeks but I don’t know how I got back. One second I’m in hell being used as a scuttle cock the next minuet I’m lying face up in the field looking at the stars.”  
Dean nodded slowly then turned to his brother again.  
“Wait weeks?! How long have you been back?”  
Sam took a deep breath, “About a year.”  
“You’ve been back almost this entire time and you never told me?!” Dean was outraged, no better time for the rest to sneak off into the TARDIS.  
“Dean you were out! You were living your life.”  
“My life! My life has and will always include being your brother. If I had a choice I would have chosen my brother.”  
“That’s just it Dean you always choose everyone else over yourself. I wanted to give you the life you deserved.”  
“What I deserved? I stood there out of my mind with grief and they took me in. I drank too much, used Jack ‘till he was unrecognisable. That’s not a life Sam.”  
“I’m sorry for giving you what I thought you wanted.”  
“You have no idea what I want or you wouldn’t have stayed away a year. Dude I mean a year!”  
“Dean I’m sorry if I thought it was best for you.”  
“Wait you haven’t been hunting on your on this whole time?!”  
“No.”  
“So who knew?”  
Sam was reluctant to answer Dean’s question.  
“Who Sam?”  
“Bobby, Bobby knew but I made him swear not to tell you.”  
“Nice!” Dean said sarcastically.  
The without thinking the question he wanted to ask most sprang from his mouth without permission.  
“Have you seen Cas?”  
“I’ve been praying to him since I got back but he never comes.”  
What had he expected? Maybe news of Cas would have given him some relief but instead he felt something fall inside him, could he really have been hoping for a different answer? Yeah he had been mad with Cas for not being able to save Sam but he still loved him- missed him that’s what Dean meant to think miss not love. How could he love Cas he hadn’t seen him in a year and they had never so much as kissed in fact he had never touched Cas with more than friendship, so how could he love him.  
Dean forced his mind back to the present this was not something he wanted to mull over in the presents of his newly resurrected little brother.  
(Scene Change)  
After a cup of the Doctors favourite tea Sam said it was time for him to go. He asked Dean if he wanted to join him. The truth was yes, Dean wanted that so much it was painful, but didn’t Dean owe Jack some loyalty. It almost killed Dean to admit it to himself but Jack had taken care of him this past year. Without Jack Dean would have spiralled out of control and probably got himself killed on a hunt. No Dean would stay.  
The brothers hugged again and Dean watched as Sam drove away in that god awful excuse for a car.  
(Scene Change)  
It wasn’t long before the Doctor was sorting another catastrophe, or was he inciting one either way of course the others got dragged in.  
All four walked back to the TARDIS, drained, sweaty, blood stained and covered in goo.  
“When you said defeating a Jagrafess could get messy I didn’t know you meant literally.” Complained Dean as he flicked a piece of rotten flesh off his shirt.  
“What did you think I meant this is going to be a pool party?” He responded sarcastically.  
“Though I do love a good pool party.” He added smiling.  
Dean rolled his eyes “I’m going to take a shower. Try not to get into any trouble before I get back.” He ordered.  
“You know me.” Eleven said. “Never promise anything, it tends to make life that much more boring.”  
(Scene Change)  
Dean was in the shower when the bathroom door opened.  
“Eleven I don’t know what you’re up too-”  
“Expecting the Doctor maybe I should go get him.” Jeered Jack.  
“Shut your mouth.” Smiled Dean.  
“Oh I can think of better things to do with my mouth.” He teased  
For a second Dean thought Jack was bluffing, but then Jack pulled Dean towards him. Jack let his hands caress Deans back and come to a rest on his rear.  
Dean let out a low gasp, is this what Jack felt like? Even drunk how could Dean forget this? He felt like metal shavings being drawn to a magnet. A static flowing through him, did he have this the whole time but was too drunk to notice? What a waste he thought.  
“Jack I-” Dean began.  
Jack kissed him to quieten him.  
God Dean wanted him badly.  
“Don’t over think it.” Jack said with that smile, the one Dean hadn’t seen in a while, that confident dirty smile.  
Jack let his hands slid down Dean’s chest to his hips, they moved down the mussels that point to his groin in a Y. Jack kneeled in front of him.  
Jack took hold and lowered his mouth over Dean.  
Jack kept one hand on Dean’s hip.  
Again Dean moaned. “Jack.” He growls as he continually trusts.  
His hands ran along the wet wall tiles searching for something to hold onto, to stop Dean from falling out of existence. The only place they found to rest was clenched in Jacks hair; Jack moaned his approval of the placement of Dean’s hands. The feel of Jacks voice against him is too much for Dean to bear.  
Jack leaned back and looked up at Dean. Jack licked his lips and looked at Dean like the cat that got the cream.  
Maybe it was because they were now lying in Dean’s bed or maybe it was because Jack’s head rested on Dean’s chest but the whole thing seemed surreal to Jack. He kept expecting Dean to start crying or to jump out of bed saying all this was a mistake and getting dressed quicker than a marine.  
They lay there completely naked, which had never happened before Dean was always in a hurry to get started and no matter how long they had “Danced” the moment Dean was done one of two things happened either Dean would get dressed double time and leave or he would cry ‘till he fell asleep.  
Dean played with Jacks hair.  
“Penny?!” Dean said.  
Jack shook his head.  
“Pound?!”  
Jack laughed, of course Dean had meant the money but it was a talent of Jack’s to see the dirty side in everything.  
“I just thought it would always be you, me and the other Jack.”  
Dean knew that he was talking about Dean’s drinking.  
“If I knew what you could do to me I’d have given up the other Jack a long time ago.”  
Jack couldn’t help but feel a little buzz of delight in his chest. But deep down dread filled Jack and though he wasn’t sure when, he knew what would eventually happen. Jack squeezed his eyes closed, this was not the time to think negatively now was the time to appreciate that Dean was lying under him, naked and more importantly sober.  
“Jack I know that I’ve expected a lot from you lately and-”  
“Don’t do that.” Jack said leaning back on his elbow.  
“Don’t do what?!” Dean was taken aback.  
“Don’t apologise for feeling. Don’t apologise like you were taking advantage. You needed me and I was there, that’s all that matters.” He told him sternly.  
Dean’s face burned red with guilt. He had taken advantage; he had used the briefly renewed friendship to lose himself in sex and self-pity. Was he really that blind to how much he had hurt Jack, flashes of the pitying look on Jack’s face flashed across Dean’s mind.  
Dean sat up.  
“I’m sorry I hurt you.” He said with his back to Jack, his legs dangling over the edge of the bed.  
Oh no Jack thought not another reason to cry.  
“When are you going to stop feeling so guilty?” Jack asked coming up behind Dean and wrapping his arms around him.  
“Guilt because your Mom died, guilt because you got to know her and Sam didn’t, guilt because you resented looking after your brother, guilt when something happened to your brother, guilt because you hated him getting to go to college, guilt because you got him to come back, guilt because Jess died, guilt because you are gay, because you weren’t here for him when you went to hell, the torture you did in hell, guilt for both loving and hating me, not being able to save Sam, having sex with me. Dean there is only so much guilt one person can take. Sex was the one thing I could give you and your right it hurt that it wasn’t more than just an escape for you but I knew what it was the first night you came to me. I had the choice and I chose to be your escape.”  
Jack kissed behind Dean’s ear, then his neck. Dean let his head fall to the side exposing more of his neck. Jack placed an arm under Dean’s and let his hand travel all over Dean’s muscular chest. Jack looked down as saw Dean’s enthusiasm.  
“Want to play mercy?” Jack asked nibbling on Dean’s earlobe.  
Jack pulled his legs back to give Dean turning room.  
“You asked for it!” Growled Dean.  
Jack bit his lip. Dean loomed down over Jack; He grabbed Jack’s hair roughly. Jack let out a loud moan.  
Dean pressed himself against Jack.  
“I’m going to make you beg.” Threatened Dean.  
Jack nodded, all pretence gone, he was so focused on Dean’s body.  
Dean caressed Jacks body with his own; Jack had an erection almost at once.  
“Gluten for punishment I see.” Chuckled Dean.  
“MMMM.” Jack agreed with a lustful moan.  
Dean moved faster and harder.  
“How long do you think you can hold out?” Dean grunted with the effort of his motion.  
Jacks breath was shallow, he moaned with every one of them.  
“Come on Jack.” Coaxed Dean, as he spat into one hand and he supported himself with the other. “It’s only one little word.” Dean pushed long and hard against Jack. He made sure that Jack knew he was ready, all it would take was one word and Dean and he would slot together.  
“Oh god mercy Dean, mercy.” He said breathlessly in agonising lust.  
“That doesn’t sound much like begging to me.” Dean said prolonging Jack’s agony.  
“Dean, Please, please, Please I-I need you please.” Jack pleaded, breathlessly his lungs empty and still working overtime, he pleaded with Dean to end the agony, to give him what he had given Dean, a release.  
Dean smiled and gave Jack the release he begged for.  
(Scene Change)

It would be nice, easy even, to say that things stayed like this, Gank a monster/alien, eat, play mercy repeat but that’s not how life works, particularly if you live in the TARDIS or your last name is Winchester.  
As with most second chance relationships past experiences raised their ugly head and it wasn’t long before Dean and Jack slept in their own beds and the only sex they had was angry sex, but hey who can afford to be picky.  
Then the baby happened. Yes as far as kids go Jack is actually quite good with them but he noticed that Dean had a tendency to distrusted him with Bobby John and Jack knew why. They hadn’t spoken about it but Jack knew it was about Steven.  
The baby cried harder.  
“What does it want?” Sam demanded.  
“What you think I speak baby?!” Snapped Dean.  
“No but I do.” Cooed The Doctor.  
Dean didn’t believe him.  
“He says, he’s wet, hungry, that and he hates that thing you bring him round in, he quite likes being Bobby John but just don’t call him B.J. Hum.” Eleven said looking at the baby.  
“No it’s not its cool.” He said fixing his bowtie. “It’s my real hair I’ll have you know.”  
“As interesting as this is what are we going to do with it?”  
Everyone looked at Sam.  
“I just mean we can’t keep it!”  
“So what you want to gank it?” Asked an outraged Dean.  
“No but we can’t keep it.”  
“Well we can’t exactly drop it of at Wool’s now can we?”  
“I’m not saying an orphanage, I mean they might think it’s a little unusual that the baby can change race and gender but still!”  
“We could give it to Gwen!” Jack offered.  
“Gwen?!” Sam repeated.  
“Yeah Gwen Cooper. She worked with me in Torchwood.” Explained Jack.  
Dean didn’t like where this was going.  
“What’s she going to do with him?”  
“Raise him!” Jack was close to getting offended.  
“You sure?”  
“She already has a daughter.”  
“Yeah so another kid is going to be a lot to handle.”  
“Look if you have another suggestion I’m all ears.”  
Dean finally agreed and even though they used the TARDIS it didn’t go smoothly.  
It turned out that the Gwen they met was actually a shapeshifter alpha who snatched the baby.  
“Well done Jack!” Dean said to the lifeless corpse that lay on the ground.  
“You listen here right, that man did everything he could for that child.” The real Gwen said standing up.  
“What about Steven? Did he do everything he could for him?”  
“That’s not fair!”  
“What is?”  
“He loved that little boy more than anything it almost killed him!”  
“Funny coz it definitely killed Steven.”  
Gwen’s hand collided with Dean’s face.  
She picked up her gun. “I would tell Jack you’re no good for him but the more you push Jack the tighter he holds on, that’s just the kind of person he is.” And with that she left the warehouse.  
Neither of them had realised that Jack had lay there resurrected and listening.  
The next few days in the TARDIS felt like they were on The Alps.  
Jack couldn’t take the coldness he went to Dean’s room.  
“Dean we need to talk!”  
“Ever hear of knocking?!”  
“Dean I’ve been trying to talk to you for a while now-”  
“Could have fooled me.” Dean said in a smart-alecky way.  
“I know you wanted to go with him.”  
“Sam?”  
“Yeah.” This was not exactly what Jack meant but he knew if he mentioned Cas Dean’s walls would go back up.  
“I did but I chose to stay.”  
“Out of misplaced guild and a deformed sense of loyalty.”  
“Are you trying to tell me you don’t want me here?”  
“Dean of course I want you to be here but…”  
“Spit it out, I’m on tenterhooks.” Dean crossed his arms as he spoke.  
“If you still care about me, really care about me then I want you to stay but if you think you would be happier hunting with Sam…” Code for if you could see yourself loving Cas “Then you should go.” Jack stood up and left the room.  
As he walked towards the control room he passed the TARDIS’s memory bank and he remembered the first time Dean found out about Steven.  
Jack couldn’t get this one song out of his head as he walked up the hall.

So much for A Great Big World, Jack said to himself as he dried his cheek. When Jack entered the room Clara could tell at once that Jack was upset but of course the Doctor noticed nothing. Clara walked over to Jack and put her hand on his arm.

“He’ll come round.” She tried to sound reassuring and Jack gave her a smile but he just couldn’t make it a happy one. They both stood there pretending to listen to the Doctor ramble on about “This one time-” Didn’t he understand that Jacks heart was breaking? Clara wondered.

A few minutes later Dean walked in with his coat on and carrying a camping bag.

“You’re going?” Clara asked surprised.

“Yeah I’ve text Sam he said he’d meet me. Doctor.” Dean nodded.

“Sure I’ll set her down.”

“As close to Poughkeepsie as you can.” He said with a little smile that had no hint of humour about it.

“Are you sure about this?” Jack asked as Dean walked over to him He nodded.

Again the lyrics haunted Jack.

Dean hugged Jack as he forced his eye to stay dry.

As they hugged Dean whispered in Jack’s ear. “I will never forget that you saved my life. I owe you so much.”

Jack wanted to beg him to stay, to say that if he did stay that would make them even. Then that line played in his head * I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you * and he wondered how much of a hand he really had in saving Dean Winchester, even if he did wouldn’t using it to make him stay undo the whole “You carry too much guilt” conversation.

“I know you’ll save me too, someday.” Jack said with a fake smile as they faced each other.

Clara coughed to bring them back.

“You aren’t going without giving me a hug are you?” Clara asked with her arms out stretched. Dean hugged her.

“You keep the Doctor out of trouble, you hear.” He shouted loudly making sure the Doctor could hear him.

“Never in trouble perhaps the wrong place but…”

Dean picked up his bag and walked over to the door where the Doctor waited.

“Well here you are, don’t forget to text.” Eleven said shacking Dean’s hand.

“I won’t, thank you for the adventure.”

“Oh you can’t thank me for that we all make our own adventure in this life. Then again what do I know I’ve lived so many.” He chuckled. “Dean Winchester.”

“Doctor.”

“I think we’ll be seeing each other again.” the Doctor told him with a knowing smile.

“I hope so.”

“I’m still shaking your hand.” The Doctor laughed and let go.

The Doctor opened the doors and Dean saw Sam he walked out and hugged him hello.

“Come on.” Dean said after their brief hug, he threw his bag in on the back seat and then climbed into the passenger seat.

He glanced in the wing mirror and saw Jack standing alone in the doorway. Dean wound down the window and gave Jack a small wave. Jack stood to attention raised his hand to his forehead in salute and winked at Dean. Even with how sad he felt at that moment Dean gave a small laugh, typical Jack. Dean was only in the car a few minutes but the silence was killing Sam so he turned on his iPod.

An instrumental started to play Dean didn’t think it was that bad a bit Celtic but still. That was until the lyrics started. It took Dean a moment to catch them. Sam drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel.

“Sam can you turn it off?”

“What?” Sam asked over the music.

“Turn it off!”

“What happened to driver picks the music shotgun shuts his cakehole?” Joked Sam.

Dean gave him a look and Sam knew he needed to turn it off. Sam accidently turned it up.

“Off Sam, Off.”

“I’m trying!” He pressed the wrong button again as he tried to keep an eye on the road. The song stated over from the beginning. Dean ripped out the IPod and threw it on the back seat. Sam was astonished for a moment.

“Ok then, no more Jon Boden, Sam Sweeney and Ben Coleman.”

“No more IPod!” Corrected Dean.

Meanwhile the following hours in the TARDIS were no better. Jack had locked himself into his room. Evanescence rebounded of the walls as though they were playing live in the TARDIS arena.

“Doctor Don’t you think we should do something?”

“About what?” He asked cheerfully.

“Jack!”

“I might be a Doctor, well sort of but I’m not a marriage counsellor.” Even over the music Clara heard one of Jacks whales.

“Please Doctor help him!” She beseeched him.

“What do I know about helping an ex-boyfriend get over his ex-boyfriend?”

“You would be helping a friend! Do you remember what those are?!” She asked rhetorically before she stormed off in the direction of the music.

The music got louder and louder ‘till Clara almost couldn’t stand it.

“Jack please come out.” She begged sympathetically.

“I’m not ready yet.” He answered. She could tell he had been crying, was crying, is crying.

“Ok.” she whispered gently knowing he could hear her. Jack turned the music up. Just as she knew he would, he pressed repeat.


	11. On The Road Again

Sam and Dean drove all night, Dean wished he could sleep but couldn’t.  
“Seriously dude, how are you supposed find this beach bucket comfortable.” Grumbled Dean.  
Sam shook his head.  
“I guess we are heading to Bobby’s?” He mentioned as he tried to make the headrest cosier.   
Sam nodded.  
“I keep forgetting he knew you were back this whole time.”  
Out of the corner of his eye Sam watched Dean.  
“I mean I had the Doctor hook my phone to the TARDIS just so I could call Bobby and check on things. The biggest thing and he kept it from me.”  
“I asked him not to tell you.”  
“So?”  
“I was trying to let you live a life of your own to be free to see the world, other worlds, to fall in love with Jack all over again.”  
“I did but you know how it is SSDD.”  
Again Sam nodded, maybe it should have worried Sam that he knew his brother was upset but it had no effect on him.  
Dean knew the next question should be about Cas but the last time Dean asked Sam hadn’t heard anything and at that moment Dean didn’t want to think about Cas.  
“Dude I am starving.”  
“There’s a truck stop in a few miles.”  
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0  
“Dean!”   
Despite Dean grumbles about just how uncomfortable the car was he had still managed to fall asleep.  
“Really Sam?” Dean asked looking out of the window and seeing the white facade of a petrol station.  
“What?” He asked looking innocent.  
“Dude I say I’m starving and you stop at this place?” He replied getting out of the car.  
“I thought you meant a diner not a gas station.” Looking around it was a bright and breezy place. “ And I think the name is a little inappropriate.” He muttered.  
Sam looked up at the sign that read “Happy’s” He shrugged.  
“Dean there’s pie.” Sam told him, he walked forward to open the door.  
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t go in.” Answered Dean, as he walked in behind his little brother.  
0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0o  
They returned to Sam’s car, first Dean took a pie out of its case and without slicing it Dean took a bite. Suddenly Dean’s eyes widened.  
With his mouth still full he spoke. “Whav the ‘ell is bat?” he pointed to Sam.  
“It’s a tripped cheese taco plater.” Shrugged Sam.  
Dean swallowed his half chewed pie and when he was sure he wouldn’t choke he asked another question.  
“What happened to the wheatgrass and ylang ylang shakes or whatever.”  
“Oh yeah right well, I’m taking a break from them.” Just then he shoved almost an enter taco into his mouth.   
Dean gaged and put the pie back in to his bag.  
Sam, having decided he didn’t want the rest of the food wrapped it up and flung it onto the back seat. Dean watched and took a double take, neat freak Sam?!  
“Dude you sure know how to treat a car.” Dean’s voice gave away just how unhappy he was.  
“Dean it’s my car I’ll treat it how I like.”  
“Same go for your cholesterol?”  
“Isn’t you who’s always saying the monsters will get us first?!”  
“Yeah but I mean this is the first time you’ve listened.”  
Without answering Sam started the car.  
00o0o0o0o0  
By late afternoon, a whole twenty one hours after leaving the TARDIS, they pulled into the familiar scrapyard.  
Bobby opened the door.  
“Dean.” Breathed Bobby, pulling him in for a bone crushing hug.  
“Good to see you too Bobby.” Chuckled Dean as he hugged the older man with just as much affection.  
“Come in boy.” Invited Bobby, as he stood aside.  
Bobby gave the boys a beer each and headed to the sitting room.  
“So..” started Bobby. “Tell me where you’ve been, and the stuff you’ve seen.”  
“You know.” Shrugged Dean.  
“No that’s why I asked.”  
“Aliens and planets. The world end and people die, not much different from hunting really.” Dean chuckled. “Once Jack said-“ He stopped short, Bobby didn’t push the topic.  
Dean cleared his throat “What about you guys?” he asked taking a swig of his beer.  
“Oh well you know.” Bobby chuckled nervously.  
Dean sat forward “No I don’t that’s why I asked.” His tone showing his seriousness.  
“It’s Eve.” Began Sam.  
“Eve? Like the Eve, mother of all.”  
“Yes, that Eve.” Answered Sam rolling his eyes.  
“But that’s good right?”  
Again Sam rolled his eyes.  
“Mother of all, including monsters. You remember those right?”  
Over the next few days Eve was a welcome distraction from Jack, Dean needed that. Still there wasn’t much they could find on Eve so the boys took any jobs that popped up leaving the research to Bobby.   
“Dude the next time I suggest we set a trap how about you listen?”  
Dean turned to Sam.  
“I’ll listen when you volunteer to be the bate.”  
Dean faced the patch of dark wood that a shapeshifter disappeared through the wood in his stolen car.  
“Bobby is going to kill us.”   
“Not us, you.” As he spoke Sam pointed at Dean.  
“Oh yeah pointing the finger really helps.”  
“Come on!” Dean ordered.  
“Where are you going!” Asked Sam outraged.  
“Back to Baby.”  
“But he is getting away!” Shouted Sam, waving his gun in the direction of the fading rear car lights.  
“You want to kill yourself chasing him go ahead. Baby is about a mile back that way.” Dean pointed with his gun. “And he is headed east, by the time we get on the road he will be half way around the world.” Dean spoke as he gasped for breath.   
He turned to leave.  
“So you’re giving up?”  
Dean walked back up a grassy hillock.  
“Is that what being in the TARDIS thought you? When things don’t go your way give up?”  
Instantly Dean swung around.  
“You have no idea what being in the TARDIS thought me. You might if you were there but you weren’t.”  
“You didn’t need me there.” When he spoke Sam’s words were not said in a hurtful tone, instead they sounded matter of fact, he could just have easily saying that the woods were made up of trees or that Deans hair was sandy blonde.  
“You keep saying that you know what I need but the fact is you don’t if you did you would have never made me greave your death when all along you were fine. I pictured you suffering in hell the way I had.”  
Sam made what to Dean sounded like a sarcastic grunt.  
“What?” Demanded Dean.  
“Nothing! Just clearing my throat.”  
“Yeah right.” Muttered Dean as they walked back to baby.  
They climbed in and drove away with Seven Oaks Park Nashville in their rear-view mirror.  
What a waste of time, half a day to get there, two days hunting and now half a day’s drive back and nothing to show for it, thought Dean.  
Just before the pair reached Bobby’s Sam wanted to stop at a petrol station.  
For some unknown reason Dean felt uneasy about this unscheduled stop.  
“Hey grab me some pie!” shouted Dean as Sam got out of the car.  
Sam nodded his messy mane.  
After a few seconds Dean followed, as he came close to the men’s toilets he stopped hiding behind the corner of the shop front, he saw Sam standing there on his mobile phone.  
“Hey it’s me.”  
“No it got away.”  
“Look you knew this might-“  
“No I told you there is no way he will agree!”  
“Some Gas station off I 70. No don’t come here!”  
“You think he’ll be ok with that?”  
“Just stay where you are, I’ll handle Dean.”  
“We won’t mess up again ok?!”  
Dean hurried back to the car.  
He and only managed to look nonchalant when Sam crammed himself back into the car.  
“Dude pie?”  
“Oh yeah right they were all out.” lied Sam.  
“What took you so long?”  
“Seriously I go to the John and you want to know what took me?”  
Dean pulled a that’s-gross face.  
“Hey you asked.”  
Yeah something stinks of shit, thought Dean.  
Dean wondered if Sam could have been talking to Cas. Maybe Sam was lying about Cas being incommunicado, but if Sam was talking to Cas why was he so desperate for Dean to try calling him if he was telling Cas to stay away? It made no sense.  
When they got back to Bobby’s Dean had a decision to make, he wasn’t sure why even Cas’s name made him angry, the last time he saw his winged friend hadn’t he healed him? So why every time Sam suggested he call Cas did Dean become defensive and get an uncomfortable feeling in his chest like heartburn. He didn’t even understand himself why he was so adamant that they didn’t need Cas.  
But now it was about more than needing help, it was about figuring Sam out. Dean needed to know if Sam was telling the truth that he hadn’t contact with Cas and if that was true who was it that Sam was teaming up with?  
“Any Luck with the Lore?” Sam asked as both walked through Bobby’s front door.  
“I have read everything, twice.” Answered Bobby throwing a book back on the stack in front of him.  
“Cas would probably have some workable info.”  
This was usually when Dean would put up a fight about involving Cas.  
“Maybe it’s time we ring 0800 Angel.”  
Bobby and Sam exchanged surprised looks.  
“Oh ok but don’t be surprised if he doesn’t come.” Warned Sam.  
As they walked down the stars to the basement Dean suddenly felt ill, his heart was in his throat and his legs felt both like led and jelly.  
“Mind if I sit?” Sam asked rhetorically as he sat in an old rocking chair.  
“Ok.” Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves Dean tried not to let his worry show.  
“Cas..” suddenly there felt like there was something stuck in Dean’s throat, he coughed. “if you angel signal is on get your feathery ass down here.”  
Dean opened his eyes without realising he had closed them, first one eye that scanned the room, then the other.  
“Oh well.” Dean said standing up away from the press he was resting against. He felt relived and still didn’t know why he dreaded Cas’s presence.  
Dean took a few steps and suddenly Sam uncrossed his arms. Slowly Dean turned around.  
“Hello Dean.”  
Suddenly Dean had no idea how to do anything, breathing or talking.  
“Cas.” It was more of a squeak than a word.  
Dean begged his cheeks not to turn red.  
“Sam said he has been calling you.”  
Everyone turned to Sam.  
“Yeah I was praying for weeks yet Dean calls you once and here you are. Do you like him more or something?” asked Sam.  
“Well Dean and I do share a profound bound, but I wasn’t going to say anything.”  
There went Dean’s cheeks.  
“So you haven’t talked to Sam at all?”  
Sam looked suspiciously at Dean.  
“I haven’t seen Sam since the Day he opened Lucifer’s cage.”  
“So didn’t you answer his prayers?” Bobby asked Cas.  
“I didn’t hear any prayers from Sam.” He answered.  
Now it was Bobby and Dean who swapped concerned looks.  
“Which is not at all surprising.” Cas added.  
“It’s not?” Sam asked.  
“No heaven is in disarray. It is not only humans who have problems.”  
“Good to know.” Snapped Dean sarcastically, why did Cas always make it so easy to hate him.  
“What dilemma are you facing this time.”   
Why was it Cas’s husky voice had such an effect on Dean, he hoped that he had hidden the quiver that shot up his body. Why did Dean have to feel so conflicted over Cas?!  
The group explained that they faced a new threat called Eve.   
“Yeah but I mean sure Sam says she is dangerous but the lore doesn’t say that.”   
“Your right Dean.” A smile spread across Dean’s face. “But if you think Lilith was a what did you say “Grade A bitch” then Eve is higher than that.”  
Dean’s face dropped.  
“What does that mean?”  
“She is the mother of all Dean. The mother of every type of monster you have ever faced and she has the ability to create more or new monsters an army is with in her power. Lilith could only dream of such power.”  
“Great what’s the good news?”  
“Yes.”  
Everyone listened a little more closely.  
“And no.”  
“Cut the crap Cas can you help or not?”  
“She was banished to purgatory, I am unaware how. If she is still there then there is no need to worry.”  
“I could have guessed there was no need to worry if she isn’t here.”  
Cas seemed to be mulling something over.  
“Dean!” Warned Bobby.  
“No, we wait for months for him to show his face and this is all he has?” Dean stood inches from Cas’s face.  
“There is a rumour.”   
“Rumour?” scoffed Dean.  
“Yes even among us angels there are secrets.”  
“So what’s so secret angels don’t even know.”  
“Eve is older, even to us. How to kill her isn’t known by all.”  
“Ok so shock us.” Bobby said.  
“As far as we, angels, are aware she can only be killed by a phoenix.”  
“Ok so where do we get one?” Asked Dean.  
“Dean phoenix’s are mythical, even if they ever existed you’re not going to find one at a pet smart.” Sam laughed.  
“Ok, so everything is pointing towards this mother…… making a jailbreak and we are no closer to stopping her or knowing how to put her back if she does break out.” grunted Dean.  
“Thanks Cas you’ve been tones of help.” Without saying another word Dean started to climb the stars.  
When Dean reached the top Cas was standing there waiting.  
“I am sorry I could not offer more help.”  
As Cas spoke Dean pushed passed, as little as he wanted to talk to Cas about a job in the presence of Bobby and Sam he defiantly didn’t want alone time with him.  
“It doesn’t matter Cas, go save heaven I’ll save earth… again, like always.”  
“You tone leads me to believe-”  
“Believe what you want Cas!”  
“You called and I came, I’m not sure what it is that angers you.”  
“How about the fact that if you had your head here you could have told me that my brother was alive?!”  
“You said there was nothing here for you.”  
“That was before I knew Sam was alive.”  
Cas’s heart dropped.  
“You would have come back for him.” It wasn’t really a question.  
“Of course.”  
Cas wanted to say something, to show that he had wished Dean stayed for him.  
“You were better off with him.”  
“Who?” for a second it took Dean to realise what Cas was getting at.  
“You mean the Doctor?!” He really wasn’t asking he was warning Cas not to talk about Jack.  
“Yes him.”  
“If I knew Sam was here I would never have left.”  
“Your departure was not for any other reason?”  
“No!”  
Wait was Dean admitting that he didn’t leave to be with Jack, this was way too confusing.  
“I appreciate that you took time out of saving Heaving to help us but maybe you should see what you can do for them.”  
No sooner had Dean finished speaking he heard a flapping noise. Dean turned to see only he was standing in the room. He looked down and was so distracted by the situation with Cas that he had made a drunk for himself. Angry he walked into the kitchen and threw it down the sink.  
Suddenly Dean had a pain in the pit of his stomach, was it thinking about Jack or was it the fact he was being a prick to Cas?

"Is it safe?" asked Sam sticking his head around the doorway.

"Ha ha." Dean answered sarcastically. 

Why was this situation so upsetting? was it because of Jack or Cas?


End file.
